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2 : Various penalties for cyber crime

2010-12-04T22:21:00.000+08:00

Cyber crime is a type of of crime that not only destroys the security system of a country but also its financial system. One supporter of legislation against cyber crime, Rep. Lamar Smith (R-Texas), stated, "Our mouse can be just as dangerous as a bullet or a bomb." Cyber attackers should be penalized and punished severely and most cyber crimes have penalties reflecting the severity of the crime committed. Although in the past many laws against cyber crimes were insufficient, law enforcement agencies and governments have recently proposed many innovative plans for fighting cyber crimes.

Punishment

Cybercrime must be dealt with very seriously because it causes a lot of damage to businesses and the actual punishment should depend on the type of fraud used.

The penalty for illegally accessing a computer system ranges from 6 months to 5 years. The penalty for the unofficial modification on a computer ranges from 5 to 10 years. Other penalties are listed below:
Telecommunication service theft: The theft of telecommunication services is a very common theft and is punished with a heavy fine and imprisonment.

Communications intercept crime: This is a Class-D crime which is followed by a severe punishment of 1 to 5 years of imprisonment with a fine. Other cyber crimes like telecommunication piracy, offensive material dissemination, and other cyber frauds also belong to this category.

Information Technology Act-2000: According to this act, different penalties are available for different crimes. Some of the penalties are as follows:
Computer source document tampering: The person who changes the source code on the website or any computer program will get a punishment up to 3 years of imprisonment or fine.
Computer hacking: The individual who hacks the computer or computer devices will get an imprisonment up to 3 years or a fine.

Government protected system: An act of trying to gain access to a system which is a protected system by the government, will result in imprisonment for 10 years and a heavy fine.
The introduction of such penalties have lead to a drastic reduction in the cyber crime rates as more and more criminals are becoming aware of the penalties related to them. Spreading the word about the penalties of cyber crime can serve as a deterrent against such crime.
Penalties relating to cyber crime will vary depending on the country and legislation in place.

2010-12-04T22:16:00.000+08:00

1.Various cyber crimes that has been committed

Cyber crime is the latest and perhaps the most complicated problem in the cyber world. “Cyber crime may be said to be those species, of which, genus is the conventional crime, and where either the computer is an object or subject of the conduct constituting crime”. “Any criminal activity that uses a computer either as an instrumentality, target or a means for perpetuating further crimes comes within the ambit of cyber crime”

1) A generalized definition of cyber crime may be “ unlawful acts wherein the computer is either a tool or target or both” 2) The computer may be used as a tool in the following kinds of activity- financial crimes, sale of illegal articles, pornography, online gambling, intellectual property crime, e-mail spoofing, forgery, cyber defamation, cyber stalking. The computer may however be target for unlawful acts in the following cases- unauthorized access to computer/ computer system/ computer networks, theft of information contained in the electronic form, e-mail bombing, data didling, salami attacks, logic bombs, Trojan attacks, internet time thefts, web jacking, theft of computer system, physically damaging the computer system.

The cyber criminals constitute of various groups/ category. This division may be justified on the basis of the object that they have in their mind. The following are the category of cyber criminals-

1. Children and adolescents between the age group of 6 – 18 years – The simple reason for this type of delinquent behaviour pattern in children is seen mostly due to the inquisitiveness to know and explore the things. Other cognate reason may be to prove themselves to be outstanding amongst other children in their group. Further the reasons may be psychological even. E.g. the Bal Bharati (Delhi) case was the outcome of harassment of the delinquent by his friends.

2. Organised hackers- These kinds of hackers are mostly organised together to fulfill certain objective. The reason may be to fulfill their political bias, fundamentalism, etc. The Pakistanis are said to be one of the best quality hackers in the world. They mainly target the Indian government sites with the purpose to fulfill their political objectives. Further the NASA as well as the Microsoft sites is always under attack by the hackers.

3. Professional hackers / crackers –
Their work is motivated by the colour of money. These kinds of hackers are mostly employed to hack the site of the rivals and get credible, reliable and valuable information. Further they are ven employed to crack the system of the employer basically as a measure to make it safer by detecting the loopholes.

4. Discontented employees- This group include those people who have been either sacked by their employer or are dissatisfied with their employer. To avenge they normally hack the system of their employee.

helloooo mr seah!!!im zack!!!:)

2010-11-22T11:30:00.003+08:00

Internet addiction disorder

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"Wikipedia addiction" redirects here. For the tongue-in-cheek Wikipedia essay, see Wikipedia:Wikipediholic.

Internet addiction disorder (IAD), or, more broadly, Internet overuse, problematic computer use or pathological computer use, is excessive computer use that interferes with daily life.^[1] These terms avoid the distracting and divisive term addiction and are not limited to any single cause.

IAD was originally proposed as a disorder in a satirical hoax by Ivan Goldberg, M.D., in 1995.^[2] He took pathological gambling as diagnosed by the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM-IV) as his model for the description^[3] of IAD. It is not however included in the current DSM as of 2009. IAD receives coverage in the press, and possible future classification as a psychological disorder continues to be debated and researched.

Online activities which, if done in person, would normally be considered troublesome, such as compulsive gambling or shopping, are sometimes called net compulsions.^[4] Others, such as reading or playing computer games, are troubling only to the extent that these activities interfere with normal life. Supporters of disorder classification often divide IAD into subtypes by activity, such as excessive, overwhelming, or inappropriate pornography use,^[5] gaming,^[6] online social networking, blogging,^[7] email^[8], or Internet shopping.^[9] Opponents note that compulsive behaviors may not themselves be addictive.^[10]

[hide]

[edit] Possible disorder

There is debate over whether to include "Internet Addiction" as a diagnosis in DSM-V, the next (May 2013) edition of the DSM. Some argue that Internet addiction disorder exists and should be included, and some that it is neither an addiction nor a specific disorder and should not be included in DSM-V.

In June 2007, the American Medical Association declined to recommend to the American Psychiatric Association that they include IAD as a formal diagnosis in DSM-V,^[11] and recommended further study of "video game overuse."^[12] Some members of the American Society of Addiction Medicine opposed identifying Internet overuse and video game overuse as disorders.^[13] Among the research identified as necessary is to find ways to define "overuse" and to differentiate an "Internet addiction" from obsession, self-medication for depression or other disorders, and compulsion.

While the existence of Internet addiction is debated, self-proclaimed sufferers are resorting to the courts for redress. In one American case (Pacenza v. IBM Corp.), the plaintiff argued he was illegally dismissed from his employment in violation of the Americans with Disabilities Act because of Internet addiction triggered by Vietnam War-related Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder.^[14]^[15] The case is pending before the court in the Southern District of New York (case summarized in Glaser & Carroll, 2007).

[edit] Support

According to Maressa Orzack, director of the Computer Addiction Study Center at Harvard University's McLean Hospital, between 5% and 10% of Web surfers suffer some form of Web dependency.^[16]

Another supporter, Jeremy Greenfield, Ph.D. of the Center for Internet Behavior conducted a study with ABC News.com in 1999 and is author of Virtual Addiction. He believes that some services available over the Internet have unique psychological properties which induce dissociation, time distortion, and instant gratification, with about 6% of individuals experiencing some significant impact on their lives. However, he says it may not best be seen as an addiction but rather as a compulsion. Greenfield claims that sex, gaming, gambling, and shopping online can produce a mood-altering effect.

According to the Center for Internet Addiction Recovery (whose director is Kimberly S. Young,^[17] a researcher who has lobbied for the recognition of net abuse as a distinct clinical disorder), "Internet addicts suffer from emotional problems such as depression and anxiety-related disorders and often use the fantasy world of the Internet to psychologically escape unpleasant feelings or stressful situations."^[18] Over 60% of people seeking treatment for IAD claim involvement with sexual activities online which they consider inappropriate, such as excessive attention to pornography or involvement in explicit sexual conversations online.^[19] More than half are also addicted to alcohol, drugs, tobacco, or sex.^[18]

In 2008 Jerald J. Block, M.D.,^[20] Hilarie Cash, PhD,^[21] Kim McDaniel MA,^[21] argued that Internet addiction should be included as a disorder in the DSM-V. Block observed that diagnosis was complicated because 86% of study subjects showing IA symptoms also exhibited other diagnosable mental health disorders.^[20] A 2009 study suggested that brain structural changes were present in those classified by the researchers as Internet addicted, similar to those classified as chemically addicted.^[22]

[edit] Opposition

Psychiatrist Dr. Goldberg acknowledges that Internet addiction disorder is not a true addiction and may in fact be no more than a symptom of other, existing disorders.^[23] An overbroad description of addiction leaves open the possibility of every compensatory behavior being declared an addiction. For example, a person who has lengthy telephone conversations with a friend to avoid an unpleasant situation could be declared "addicted to the telephone" with equal validity as a person who chats on the Internet with the same underlying goal.

Most, if not all "Internet addicts", already fall under existing diagnostic labels.^[24] For many individuals, overuse or inappropriate use of the Internet is a manifestation of their depression, anxiety, impulse control disorders, or pathological gambling.^[25] IAD is compared to food addiction, in which patients overeat as a form of self-medication for depression, anxiety, etc., without actually being truly addicted to eating.

It is possible that a person could have a pathological relationship with a specific aspect of the Internet, such as bidding on online auctions, viewing pornography, online gaming, or online gambling (which is included under the existing Pathological Gambling), but that does not make the Internet medium itself addictive. For example,^[26], whether gambling is done on a computer or face-to-face does not affect whether or not it is pathological; a person with poor impulse control can lose sleep over a suspenseful novel or favorite television show or a computer game or the temptation to click on another web link.

Also, there are significant and critical differences between common Internet activities (e-mail, chatting, web surfing) and pathological gambling, which the IAD notion heavily parallels. The Internet is largely a pro-social, interactive, and information-driven medium, while gambling is seen as a single, anti-social behavior that has very little social redeeming value. So-called Internet addicts do not suffer from the same damage to health and relationships that are common to established addictions.^[24]

A complete review of the Internet addiction research at the end of 2008 (Byun et al., 2008) demonstrated significant, multiple flaws in most studies in this area. The researchers wrote in that article, "The analysis showed that previous studies have utilized inconsistent criteria to define Internet addicts, applied recruiting methods that may cause serious sampling bias, and examined data using primarily exploratory rather than confirmatory data analysis techniques to investigate the degree of association rather than causal relationships among variables."^[27] This suggests that much of the prior research done on this issue is invalid.^{[citation needed]}

[edit] Prevalence

The prevalence of IAD can be attributed to the fact that it has become increasingly difficult to distinguish between the online and offline worlds. The Internet has tremendous potential to affect the emotions of humans and in turn, alter our self-perception and anxiety levels.^[28]

25% of users fulfill Internet addiction criteria within the first six months of using the Internet. Many individuals initially report feeling intimidated by the computer but gradually feel a sense of "competency and exhilaration from mastering the technology and learning to navigate the applications quickly by visual stimulation" (Beard 374). The feeling of exhilaration can be explained by the way IAD sufferers often describe themselves as: bold, outgoing, openminded, intellectually prideful, and assertive.^[29]

The Ottawa Sun reports that a 1996 report in the UK "Advances in Psychiatric Treatment" claimed that a "significant minority" suffer from "Internet addiction".^[30]

Up to 30% of South Koreans under 18, or about 2.4 million people, are at risk of Internet addiction, said Ahn Dong-hyun, a child psychiatrist at Hanyang University in Seoul who just completed a three-year government-financed survey of the problem.^[31]

Data from China Internet Network Information Center (CINIC), as of June 30, 2006, showed that 123 million people had gone online, of which 14.9% were teenagers below 18 years old. Chou and Hsiao reported that the incidence rate of Internet addiction among Taiwan college students was 5.9%.^[32] Wu and Zhu^[33] identified 10.6% of Chinese college students as Internet addicts.^[34]

A leading Beijing judge, Shan Xiuyun, claimed in 2005 that 90% of juvenile crime in the city was Internet-related.^[35] The China Communist Youth League claimed in 2007 that over 17% of Chinese citizens between 13 and 17 are addicted to the Internet.^[36]

[edit] Prevention and correction

In many cases, though not all, Internet overuse corrects itself. Sarah Kershaw wrote for the New York Times in 2005: "It was Professor Kiesler who called Internet addiction a fad illness. In her view, she said, television addiction is worse. She added that she was completing a study of heavy Internet users, which showed the majority had sharply reduced their time on the computer over the course of a year, indicating that even problematic use was self-corrective."^[37]

Corrective strategies include content-control software, counseling, and cognitive behavioural therapy.^[38]^[39]^[40]^[41]

Families in China have turned to unlicensed training camps that offer to "wean" their children, often in their teens, from overuse of the Internet. The training camps have been associated with the death of at least one youth.^[42]

In August 2009, ReSTART, a residential treatment center for "pathological computer use", opened near Seattle, Washington, United States.^[43] It offers a 45-day program intended to help people wean themselves from pathological computer use, and can handle up to six patients at a time.^[44]

In November 2009, the government in China banned physical punishment to "wean" teens from the Internet. Electro-shock therapy had already been banned.^[45]

2010-04-18T02:20:00.002+08:00

i was wondering about what this person says...

"a man who truly loves you will never let you go no matter how hard the situation is.a women who truly loved you will be angry at you for so many things but will stick around"

i wonder..
are u referring to me??hmm..but never mind..i dont know whether it is true or not..
if it is than,just see what ill do aite..

anyway,i love hanging out with dear friends..making new friends is my specialty..
but why must people be jealous just because i have a lot of girlfriends whom i can always try to cheer them up??i always want people to be able to express everything to me..i want to know what people think..and how they think..
i can never make someone happy if they love hate and revenge..

why do people feel jealous??im not handsome or cute or charming or anything..
im just being nice and fair to everyone..
if i do love someone,ill treat her the same like how i treat my friends..but if im already attached,than ill treat my girlfriend differently than the other girls..
ill pay more attention to her than any other girls..
im willing enough to quit one job in the evening just so that i can spend time with her..

there is a different between flirt and making friends..so dont just mention anyhow that im flirting can??im not angry people said that i love to flirt..
about me, i love making friends, i hate being lonely/silent places and i definitely hate people who endure pain all by themselves cause i went through it before..
that is why i chose to be silent when i have a problem and let others express their problem to me and ill try to think of a way to cheer them up..is it wrong??
is this what u call as flirting??hmm..if it is, than tell me the meaning of making friends??

people just cant see others being happy..thats what i can say..
ill never pretend that i love someone ok..when i do,i really put all my attention to you..
the rest is up to you to believe it or not..
i do love someone now and i dont intend to love another..she is my everything..
i dont wish to forget her..

and as long as i know that im doing the right thing,im not flirting..:)
ohh well...humans have their own way of thinking...ill be happy if you trust me..
if you really cared, you would have shown it to me by now right??:)
ill end it here..i want to watch "the arrivals" on youtube..XD
toodles...

*can i have a hug from you the next time??please??i only want your warm hug before i go and no one else..your hug means alot to me..:'(*

2010-04-15T02:26:00.003+08:00

wahhh...im having a great time with my classmates...
but its a pity how some of my classmates miss their old sch..
relax lah guys n girls..people have to proceed to have a better future u know..
dont be sad lahh..as we grow up, we meet new people..so no worries about making friends..
im around to make u people happy...trust me aite..i wont let any of u down..
just b supportive aite...:)

anyway,i want to get a hair extension done...ceepeek...
haha..and i miss cat..:')
how i wish that we are together..just you and me...:)
all day long...heee!!ok...im being prasan...never mind..
its always about me...

and somehow,i miss my late grandma..she taught me alot of things..
like keeping quiet and have patience in your heart when someone hurts you alot and you keep loving her back..forgive and forget..love someone without any regrets..she really is a good motivator...
and ohhh...mum made a fb acc..to that someone,do add my mum aite..:)

and btw,its true that looks dont matter..its all about the heart...
read what i wrote in my fb and check if what im saying is true...:)
ok im done...im missing her..wear the guess bracelet if you still have it if you ever think of me..please??
~i love you~

2010-04-13T00:31:00.002+08:00

hmm..i dont feel like talking about today even though it was fun..
i have great new frens who are able to keep the class noisy..
in my new sch, there are lesser matreps and minahs than in macp..
oh well..can i skip this part??ill update when i have the new pics of my classmates..:)

i want to blog about someone..just to update about her..
i'll try to update about her once every week..:)

i'm out of words actually..i cannot get her out of my mind..
i was wondering, why is she so important to me??
is it because the way she treat me??the way she took care of me when i met into an accident??
or is it because of first love??i'm unsure myself..it's hard to describe how much she means to me..how much i need her..how much i miss hugging her..how much i miss the smell of her perfume..
now i'm in my new school..but still she is in my mind all the time..i can never understand why is she so different than the other girls..i usually can move on easily since guys tend to move on faster but it's different when it comes to her..it's like i'm weak everytime when i see her..
to be honest, i'll usually tend to look out of the window just to see her but sometimes to no avail..
all my time belongs to her but i guess it means nothing now..
i'm unsure until when i'll remain alone like this..i'm unsure if it'll be easy to move on..
i can't help it but to think of her...
i need my drug..i need her..i need the one who took care of me..i need her warmth..
i need her the most rather than other girls..until than, i'll keep on praying and waiting..
i miss the one whom i cause so much pain without knowing it..i'm sorry..things are different now..
i can't describe this feeling of mine but it's just something i thought of sharing..
if i ever have her, can i change my name 2 "didi"???i only want her to call me by that name..
and no one else...:)
that is if only...:)

2010-04-08T03:30:00.002+08:00

i'm tireddd...shagged...weak...lolx...
not enough rest lah dohhhh....
hehe....eh eh...my deepest apologies for not having pictures or most of my posts...
what to do??i'm too lazy to update pictures...
okla okla..next time, i'll take pictures many many kae...

and ohh ohh..i just got back home..played pool, buy stuffs since payday arrived yesterday..
lolx..emm..emm..what am i suppose to say some more??
ohh yarr..accidentally saw someone at parkway parade..she works at f&c..
haha..glad to see her actually..she is happy as per norm..
she is the type whereby when she is happy is happy but when she have a problem, she will still remain happy..haha..

just said hello..and than bye..lolx..but in the middle she asked, "eh..u never ride bike anymore??"
and i didn't manage to reply her qn since singaporeans are kiasu pushing around..but i did manage to say bike eventually..lolx!!tkde makne sia...=.='

ok im done..akmal is in deep shit..oh well..i'll help him out later anyway...wish him luck kae...:)
sorry if i caused trouble to your son..i only want to help..not to be someone who will make you angry all the time..:'(
toodles!!!

2010-04-06T20:50:00.002+08:00

hello wello!!!im back from the movie!!haha!!
KL DRIFT 2 was awesomee!!!haha!!
can i be "joe" pls pls??ahak!!!
the story was totally cool but than it's a bit sad because aleya died!!!
boohuuu!!!

she was so much better than fasha...lolx!!
serious!!me and my friends adore her..even though she sounded like a guy...=.='
owhhh..never mind...looks or voice dont matter anyway..lol!!
ok..later at 11, i'll b riding with friends..weee!!i hope i can stay awake...insyallah..for now i need to sleep..2 posts for today!!haha!!i want to sleep for a while!!
ok toodles!!and i need to go to the gym back again and get my original body back..:)

2010-04-06T15:03:00.002+08:00

wahh..i had fun today..ohh no no..its not complete yet..
today at work made new friends..people who just started to work there..
im like their supervisor..lolx!!

than after that went home...rest awhile and went out again to register for ite tamp..
than off to play pool with joe and bad..i won but than since we went there riding a car,i have to treat bad and joe for lunch..its ok..i dont mind about money much..

an incident happen while both of them were buying food..i saw this one guy who looked suspicious..he stood behind a girl looking at her since she was wearing some kind of clothes which is exposed..not that exposed much actually..she wore a tank-top and a school p.e pants..i think??hmm..than me and bad looked at the guy since we know that something was about to happen..
and guess what..we were right..the guy hold on to the girl for a moment and ran off from macdonalds..people were looking at what happened at that point of time but the girl just acted normally when others knew what actually happen..

i guess from the girl's point of view, someone just ACCIDENTALLY grab her and just walk away..she didnt shout or anything..some people were looking at the guy while the guy ran out of the shop..i swear!!if it were to be my girlfriend, i would have gladly punched the guy...hmm..

anyway, skip this part..im going off later to watch the movie KL DRIFT 2..i was hoping to watch with SOMEONE but i guess there is not a chance she would go out with me..nahh..it's ok..i wont trouble her much..
wee!!can't wait!!can't wait!!pls time pass quickly..i want to watch the movie!!haha!!
im done..ill update later when im home aite!!toodles!!

and you should know that you are the only one who is in my mind every minute,hour and days..
i can't just simply forget you..
i love you too much to even let you go..
i'm someone whom you don't trust..i understand that..
maybe because i have a lot of girlfriends..
but i swear, that you are the only one who is different to me than them..
i treasure you alot..
the phrases used in malay means nothing to me when i chat with the other girls but all my words means alot when it comes to you..
the one and only person in my mind..
i can't help not to text you but i have to learn to..
i can just express it here hoping you would know how much you mean to me,how much i need you and how much i love you..:'(

and when the colour turns blue, it is meant for you and no one else..
since i like blue, i'll post the things about you in blue..
so you know that i'm writing about you..:')

2010-04-05T23:27:00.002+08:00

today is a good day!!!want to know why???
ask me!!ask me!!!
never mind..ill ask myself...
zack why today is a good day!?!?!?!

ohh...it's simple...today,got back from work at 7am in the morning..waited for 8:30am to go to nyp to appeal for a course there..but extend to 9:30am because of some delays..
than when i reached there, i had to wait for 30mins+ to have my final chance to appeal..
but the woman said, "sorry!!all the courses here are full!!"

than with dissapointment, i went off to take my bike..but than bike was being clamped for illegal parking at nyp..took the trouble to find the security officer and once the clamped was unlocked,
i went off for my appointment at kembangan..haha!!i have a surprise for u people!!just wait till u see me aite..

emm..i was late for the appointment..sorry people..that after the appointment, i receive this "saman" on my bike for parking illegally again..such a good day today...nothing could be better than this..than off home with a little rest..oh oh..i didn't sleep yest thinking of someone..
thanks...
ok im done..toodles!!

2010-04-05T08:15:00.002+08:00

wonder why everyone in the house is quiet???
hmm...i hate places that's silent..everyone knows it but then,how come it's still silent at home??
can i talk with everyone??is it possible??is boring not to be able to talk to anyone at home..hmm..
mum!!can i have a gf who is able to talk to u n not be silent??
can i have a gf that is noisy but not too noisy??as in average??
i dislike it if someone i know don't talk to my mum..

its pissing me off knowing that my mum dont have any friends to talk to when im at work and she's at home alone..hmm..sometimes,i tried calling mum as i dont want her to be alone too long..
hmm..can i bring a gf and meet u mum so that u have a friend whom u could talk to??
my intentions are pure and not to create trouble..:)

anyway,i just got back from work..now wait for awhile longer and ill go to nyp to appeal for a course there..hehe..insyallah ill get the course..than off to my appointment..hmm..than off to ntuc than home n sleep..ehee!!!ok im done..
ill update tonight if i see anything interesting things that i can share with all of u..XD
toodles!!

2010-04-04T05:36:00.002+08:00

goodmorning!!!rise and shine people!!time check...emmm...5:35am!!!hhaa!!!
just got back home...hang out with shahrin,akmal,siddiq and yusof...
it was fun...being accompanied by a very adorable cat!!!
it followed me and akmal around and it tried to be very pampered!!!
ok..i've made up my mind..i want to own a cat of my own!!!
pls mum???dad??:')

anyway,to my dear bestie...
cheerup aite..i know it's not easy to forget him..but this is life..
u have to accept the things that got is testing on u..u can't always choose to be happy right..
sometimes there are ups and downs in ur life..go with the flow and lead a happy life..
it's not going to be easy to forget him..if he is not meant for u, move on aite..
there are other guys out there that are better than u..just find the right one..
the one whom u can trust, love and share ur probs with..never give up hope in search for happiness..i'm here for u..but try to understand my joke aite..i don't intend to hurt u..im trying to cheer u up..pls dont be angry lahh...im sad too u know..:')

in life, i can never be perfect and neither can u..
mum told me, i have to try accept the one who love me even though i don't like that person..
i'll try but no promises aite mum..
owh well..it's been hard for me a few days back..
i was posted to ite tamp..but i intend to skip h.nitec and appeal for poly at nyp..
insyallah i'll get the course..pls don't let me down??

haha!!and mum said something when she saw my facebook..
"ya allah..dedah sane dedah sini..drg seme ni dah tk tau malu ke???kalau tk malu pade manusia pon..malu lah dekat allah..."
mum is cute okehh??i love mum and dad alot!!!XD
and i'll let love come to me..i won't search for it..whether if people believe me or not, it's up to them..

i won't lie to the one i love because love is about trust and care..
i'll find someone who can be a gf and a friend to me..can joke around and be happy when im by her side..im feeling lonely without a gf hor..i cant stay at home everyday..i miss both my brothers..i need some space too..insyallah ill find her soon..i have only one in my mind but then..
i'll skip this..if only i can reverse back time and if only trust can be found in the heart, things like this wouldn't happen..i'll remain silent for now..
don't want to make people worried towards me for no reason rightt??
:')

im done..and i have a scandal named as mimi!!she is a cat who loves to come to my workplace and eat..she is like the guardian of the shop..:)
will understand if u see her..and she is faithful!!always stick to me and not the others...XD
i want to sleep..toodles!!

2010-04-02T23:20:00.002+08:00

hello world!!i'm happy today...want to know why???
haha!!my own secret uhs...
ask me for details aite...
let me make things clear, i don't flirt..i just make lot's and lot's of friends..
if u people think that i'm flirting, than..emm..it's your problem i guess??

tired of all this thing lahh..can i not be nice??i'm too tired to be quiet when people keep on taking advantages??i'm done with love life..so i'll just lead my own life for now..
until when??until the time comes??:)

and siddiq is asking to hang out...but shahrin,akmal,yusof,syabil,helmi,dinie,syafiq,ayim,hisyam,hussein and the rest are not free..
hmm...sorry uh gang...anyway's, if u people never hear anything from me for a couple of months just find akmal, shahrin or yusof..they should know where i am..:)
and ohh...to all the upcoming eighteenssss!!happy enrolling!!pass cepat cepat kae!!
hehe!!!
ok im done..
want to play guitar than maybe ill hangout...:)

toodles!!

maybe it's just me or couldn't you believe that everything i said and did, it wasn't deceiving..

2010-04-01T23:22:00.003+08:00

haha...semue dapat results sampai lupekan kawan..happy sangat lah tuuu....
boring sia tk dapat poly..seriouss..sampai tkde mood nak jumpe kawan semue...
ape nak buat...terime aje lah..nak sedeh pon tkde gune...

about today..in the morning..me,shahrin n usop saw an accident..haha..
its friggin scary siot..now i know how it feels like when people saw an accident..
wonder if mine's the same..
felt bad for the guy..hmm..nvm..get well soon dear fella..

and ohh..congrats to the ones who manage to get into poly..
maybe ill join u people soon if i manage to go thru..insyallah..
ok im done..

dad asked about her again...hmmm...
im out of ideas...
ok toodles!!

and aku sayang kau lah pantat!!!
bagi lah aku chance untok bukti kan??
i dont flirt around much siaa...
please please please open up your eyes wideee...
i dont give up on you easily...i never do...
take your time trusting me can???
i'll still try...
~tiffania~

2010-03-30T03:12:00.002+08:00

i'm speechless..uncapable of saying anything for now..
i'm tired..i've tried..why do things happen like this??
most of my friends told me not to give up on u..
every single day i prayed, that someday u out of all people would be mine..
i promised that u will be the last that i ever love and until now i still do..

u've told me to move on..i tried but im unable to because u are always in my mind and my dreams..
never have i been in love like this..is it my fault for being close to girls but just treating them as friends??
i just want to find the right one but when i do things dont turn out my way..

i wanted to be happy with her..cherish her..be there for her..
i want to be her friend and a lover whom she can share her sorrows with..
yes, i used to hurt girls feelings long ago when in sec sch but not anymore..
i tried looking for other girls but found none until it comes to the 24th of oct..
where i met her..everything changed from than onwards..

ever since that day, i wanted to see her each day, each moment but im unable to spend much time with her since im working..but i told myself that when im with her, ill stop working just to spend time with her..i wanted this last person that i ever loved so much to know how much she means to me..how special she is to me..how much encouragement she gave me when im in the hospital..

how much time that i sacrifise just to accompany her till late at night..she means alot to me..
i've tried moving on when she told me too but i cant help myself to forget her..
this special someone whom i kept only her pictures in my phone..and the only one whom i always waited to receive a txt from her..

i know its my fault for making u think that im treating u n the other girls the same..
i want to keep the promise that i made to my mum that i will get u someday..
its not only because of the promise but also because of how much u mean to me and i love u..
i cannot deny the fact that u manage to make me fall hard for u..
things like this wouldnt have happened if u didnt think negative of me..

i told u before..if u are unhappy of something,do talk to me about it and we can try and understand each other..but it wont go anywhere if u are hiding from me..
i need to talk to u badly..and get this thing settle..
pls..just meet me once..and let get things right..

i don't intend to let u go..i really dont even though u told me to..
im sorry if im being selfish to think of myself..
im know that i wont give up too soon..i never did..
pls..just this once..i want u to know that I LOVE U ALOT!!!
i need to talk to u..honestly..just once..haix..

2010-03-29T05:06:00.002+08:00

baekk...im stuck at home cannot ride to work...
my bike's fuel gauge bocorr....lalala..:')
oh well..will be sending for repair's later..
eh eh..when is iron man 2 coming out uh??

care to watch with me anyone??lolx!!
i wont miss it...and oh...i dont recommend people to work at guardian anymore..
it sucks...haha..lolx!!
seriously...

they mention that guardian sells health and beauty products but at the same time more and more funny stuffs appeared there and the customers are like ****...serious lah shey...
and ohh..i dont intend of being angry anymore..i want to be cool..be mature and be preety always..lolx!!eh eh!!i dont know why but somehow,i like it when friends call me preety boy..haha!!woot!!

ok i need to ask someone for a date..that's is if only she is free on that day..
good news good news!!im enrolling this mth!!wee!!buying cls 2A bike??
nahh..maybe after ns??
insyallah..

haha!!its funny how people tend to make fun of religion nowdays..like example :
"eh dok!!nak gi club??"
"insyallah"'

sounds wrong to me but oh well...its going to end soon anyway..im not saying 2012 ok..
that thing is lame..its a part of illuminati thingy..
abg abg!!get a daughter or son soon!!i cant wait lahh!!!pls pls??
nak play with them horrr!!!haha!!
ill wait patiently...:')

2010-03-27T20:33:00.002+08:00

and ohh!!frens bought me a necklace with the name "zack alpinestar" engraved on it..
a plain ring and a belt with the letter "S"..:')
its a special belt..:)
ok im done!!wee!!and i miss someone with the name start with "S"..XD
toodles!!

2010-03-27T20:17:00.002+08:00

omg...i hate people who loves to say this phrase "don't mess with me..im someone whom you don't want to mess with.."
haha!!yar rightt..like that would make people afraid of u..lalala..

oh well..damai sec is having their so called earth hour at sch..
haha!!the small girl sang well..im impressed by her voice..
*melts*

and i hate people who wanted to be their own boss but in the end shows that he/she is being cheap..
like ive said,if i dont like ill tell in ur face..if not den ill just b quite and let it slowly show by itself..:)

and pls don't think that u are always right can ex-lover??
u know that most of the time u are wrong..that is why people are leaving u one by one..
they might not tell u about urself but when one by one goes away from u,u should know that the fault is urs..the prove??
ever notice how one by one keeps going off from ur life??even though u wanted them to stay??
if little people were to go off from ur life, there is nothing wrong and it might not be ur fault..
but if most of them goes off at one go, u should know who to blame right??

sometimes people might not realize their own mistakes but they should look at how others react towards them..u should have noticed it last time why one by one keep on moving off from ur life..
people do change..but u can always choose to be the same if u want..
there is nothing wrong..

so what god said is true..people are getting worse and worse..
guys becoming gays, girls becoming lesb, day by day its getting hotter and hotter..
more tall buildings, more people not believing in god..
more girls tend to open up and show off more of their body and beauty..
less guys found in the world..

but still more and more people are getting way out of hand..hmm..
watched illuminati on youtube..damn its cool!!
haha!!and ohh..i need to get out of house..
i want to be somewhere where its not silent..

and to you..don't just blurt out everything that u wish to say aite..
not everyone is afraid of u..
some are just keeping quite..
one day u'll realize how weak u are and that is when u know that u need someone around..
u are 18 but u have the mind of a primary sch kid..:')
its sad but true..but never mind..its ur choice if u think that u are always right...
im off..:)

2010-03-25T04:53:00.002+08:00

sometimes,im unsure of the things that i want in life...
like deciding on who or what i want to be..
its hard if you are pretending all the time to be happy just to make sure that you don't drag the ones who cared about you along..

funny how i tried to make everyone happy but not myself...:)
but nvm..im off to work in a few minutes time..
i was just wondering..

we are getting further and further apart but never did i forget about those promises i made..
wonder how am i suppose to fulfill it???
and ohh...i just got to know that i cannot work at guardian..
the reason??
ohh simple...
i hate working with people who relax themselves while asking others to do the work for them..
i'm going to quit soon..maybe i guess..its close to home and it's convenient..:)

but its hard to quit..want to know why???haha!!memories lahh...lolx!!!
can i spend time with family/friends/bestie and gf??
its killing me slowly thinking that both my brothers are not home like how we used to be..
and im always out since i cant sleep at night without them..

sometimes i tried to leave some space and time to spend with family..its not the same like it used to be..having 3 jobs is not easy but ill promise ill make some amends and be better...:)
im being selfish to my family/friends/bestie and gf if i meet only some and not all..
ill be better..

pls decide on who you want to be aite..i'll be happy for you with the choice that you will make...:)

2010-03-23T23:13:00.002+08:00

uhhh...im tired...dead tired..lol!!working at hiace never fails to keep me happy!!lolx!!
people there are fun..and for the first time,i made a full corner..lolx!!sorry uh zaki..
even though im tired having 2 jobs,its still and experience for me..
somehow,loneliness fade from myself when im there..

and ohh!!tmrw,im going bugis after work at hiace..gonna buy a cap,ring and emm..bracelet i think??haha!!:)
and i have to renew my road tax..lolx!!
its fun when u have fun people around..ok ok..skip about me..

i wonder what happens to her when im not around her..hmm..
but oh well..hope that she stays happy..:)
but if u do love someone,try not to put in too much hope unless u are sure that u can last long with him k..
dont be a lesb for no reason just bcoz u gave up on guys..
not all are the same..its rare to find the nice ones around..
im not saying im nice..but than,ill try n help as mch as i can kae..

saturday!!here i come!!!going out with cuzzins,bestie,frens and 2 brothers..:)
ill make sure ill be there!!
and on the 29th this mth,ill be at the cage plying soccer...kkkeeee!!!lol!!
ok im done!!toodleS!!!

2010-03-17T22:54:00.003+08:00

its been a while since i last update...ok sorry...my eng bad...
hurhur...life have/has been diff for me these few days without both my brothers...
home is kind of silent without them..sleep alone..usually ill b able to sleep peacefully with my brothers around..

oh yarr!!!both my brothers got married last week on the 13 and 14...
im happy that everything goes on smoothly...alhamdullilah!!!:)
but at the same time,im sad since they are leaving me...haiya...
lolx...so see...that's why i start blogging back...i got nothing to do at home...

to both of my new sis..do take proper care of my brothers...i may not show them or talk to them much but i do care n love them!!:)
and to my both brothers, jage lah kakak baru ku kae...
nak baby!!nak baby!!!nak jage dorang cannn???
haha..

and ohhh...dad n mum asked about the girl in green...:)
thought they forgotten her but than they didn't...:)
now let me and my sis...hmm...i got no one to quarrel with at home..
kakak pon kakak lah....jadi lah dapat quarrel ngan dier...hehehe..

im sick..flu n temperature is rising..haix..
i love working at HIACE!!!seriously!!the people there are funnnnyyyy...
ok im done..wana chat...tata!!

and ill defend u if he ever touches u again aite cousin...:)
dont be shy to tell me...:)

ohh!!!nah gamba abgs n kaks kuz!!!

2010-02-10T04:06:00.002+08:00

weee!!!HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME!!!LOLX!!!
ok done...lol!!shahrin and yusof manage to come to my house just to give a birthday cake...
waahhhh!!!sweet siot!!!hurhur!!!than went to bedok res part and hang out at the platform...
cool shit lah sia...

it was fun but than sleepy...damn...im working after this..taking bus since usop's bike is under servicing..wee..anyway,im already 20 years old..its a start of a new life, new beginning, new chapter and making more new friends..insyallah..:)
i'll be good..i'll try not to get angry more often..i need to control this temper of mine..
weee!!thanks people for the wish...
yg tk kenal pon wish sekali..haha!!cool!!!
ok im off..going to work now..
toodles!!!

*where are you??i missed your text..honestly...*

2010-02-09T22:30:00.003+08:00

booo!!!aku stress giler!!!tak nak jejak 20!!!
nak remain 19!!!!ahhhhhh!!!tolonggg!!!!!lolx!!!
seriously, im stressed up...haha!!!
im in a mess...dont wake me up at 12am...i want to remain 19..lol!!is it even possible??
ahaha!!shit!!eee!!!help!!help!!!stress!!!serious lah siot!!!

and ohh...i think she likes him...im sure of it...but he doesnt notice it or acts as if he didnt know about it...owh well..its ur friends prob..im not interested...:)
anyway, im still stress!!grr!!hhahaa!!tolong!!!

shahrin is enjoying his time with his new mp4..and also sweater...:)
abe aku tkde present??rabak!!haha!!lolx...anyway...im done...
im not asking for presents or anything..its ok if people dont wish..
im not asking for wishes or anything...:)

im done..working tomorrow at 6am..ill meet my ite simei frens...:)
toodles!!

you..you...you..
sorry if im not being understanding enough..
sorry for not wishing on your birthday when i didn't know that you were waiting..
sorry if i'm being mean all this while..
i'm not as nice as you think..sorry...

2010-02-09T14:07:00.002+08:00

helloo wellooo!!!warrrgghhhhhh!!!im tired..lol!!!
before the start of everything, i want to wish...

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO SHAHRIN AZHAR!!!!HAHA!!DAH 20 YEARS OLD SIA...
HOPE KAU SUKE MP4 YG AKU BAGI KAU AND SWEATER YANG KAU NAK TUUHHH DEEEE MAXXXX NYERR!!HAHHAA!!!TAKE CARE BRO!!!ENJOY EVER MOMENTS WITH YOUR LOVED ONES AITE...XD
PAPE ADE HAL KOL AKU!!!AKU DATANG PROTECT KAU...
ps. sorry pasal jari kau..nyaris nyaris hilang pasal aku...:'(

ok done..im off to the gym..i need to workout..make my body bigger..
haha...ohhh...now i know that most of the people from hi-ace are from ite simei..
lol!!take back my words...east can click with central...haha!!!weee!!!
i love my new job even though sometimes it ends late..but im happy with the job..
thanks to the guys and girls there...haha!!!weee!!!

and ohh...i find it that girls riding bikes are hot...*melts*
haha!!there's one at my workplace who look at me with a smile...
i dont mind her smiling but she took off with a loud sound coming from her bike...
haha!!made me pissed for no reason...grr!!tkpe tkpe..
the next time, ill chase after u to pay back for what u did...:)

and ohh...some of the people from hi-ace asked...
"asl facebook kau ade izaki pat belakang ehk??"
the ans is simple...izaki is the mix of zainuddin and zack..
but only to a certain extend only 5 alphabets are chosen..
haha!!sounds like a korean name..i know...XD
ok im done!!weee!!!toodles!!!
going gym...lalala!!!

2010-02-08T15:57:00.002+08:00

adoiii....2 more days and im gonna b 20...haix..
just cannot believe it...haix...
can i just remain 18??lol!!haha...eh eh..no maybe 19...XD
anyway, im having more and more scratches each day...
kotakkk oh kotakk kenape lah kau buat aku cam nie...grr!!!
haha...

tml is shahrin's bdae..i've already bought for him his mp3/mp4...:)
so tml since im working at 6am, ill just pass him his bdae present...hurhur!!
and he said, "eh zack, aku tak tau uh nak belikan kau ape..nak katekan semue barang kau ade sia...haiyaa...."

tak lah rain..tak semue barang aku ade dokk..kau ade 1 bende yg aku tak ade..
kau tau jawapan dier ape lagi pon...:)
tkpelah..i dont need gifts for my birthday..i don't need them..
i dont need anything from people..
wishes will do...but can i have something from her???:)
no no..only as a friend...not more..:)

anyway,friends are people who stick by each other and not leaving others alone when they are having problems..i have mine and im sure you have yours..try to understand properly about your friends aite cause not everyone will be able to understand you..not even me..but it is you that will have to decide if you are able to make it a fiction...:)

i used to wished that i want to spend time with my gf if i do have one but than, im busy with work and sch..i currently have 3 jobs..its tiring..but ill make sure if i have a gf, ill stop working so that i have enough time for her..but ill only work in the morning and not evening..
its been awhile that i spend time with someone..and people just keep on asking..
"eh zack..who is going to be ur date on valentines day???"
and my ans is "none"..:)

i dont celebrate valentines day..the reason??simple..valentines day is a day meant only for christians and some other races..i went for religious class last sun..we are able to celebrate with our gf/bf during valentines day but just act as if it is a day whereby we spend time together with our loved ones and not spending the actual valentines..get what i mean??
to make it short, we are forbidden to celebrate valentines day..:)
but its ok to celebrate it just like that..:)
if u truly understand what i mean than good!!

but seriously, i cant believe that im reaching 20 soon..haix...
be mine someone??hurhur!!sounds so desperate sia...lolx!!!weee!!!
ohh well...what to do...lalala..toodles!!!

2010-02-06T01:15:00.002+08:00

wahhhhh!!!asik asik kene screen...asik asik kene screen...hurhur!!!
its kind of funny...just got back from stalking...XD
was hoping the lights would go off so that i know that she is asleep tapi tak menjadi lerr..
kene screen lah pulak...lolx!!!

and anyway, how come everyone been asking me not to quit work or school??haha..
wonder why...hang out with usop since shahrin unable to make it..
emm...what do i have to type ehk..

and oh ohhh!!maybe ill fail my j2me...sobx...:(
tulahhh...tak belaja..keje keje keje...lolx...ape nak jadi ngan anak yg sorang nie....
nakal betol...hurhur!!!

someone's bdae coming soon...hmm..nak belikan kau mp4 uhs...happy uhs...XD
weee....abeh bdae aku nnt korang tak bagi pape pat aku??sobx..
sedeh sia...hmm...anyone giving me presents???pls pls???
ill be good....*wink*
haha!!

im tired..health is not much of an importance to me anymore..
i dont know why and when will i end this..
was hoping to celebrate bdae with a girlfren...sobx...

and anyway,im reaching 20 soon..cannot believe it..
i wana stay at 18..it makes me happy..:)
but well..people grow old and will soon dissappear someday...haix..
i have nothing to post about...but lastly..

ever wonder why i keep on coming back even when we quarrell hard to the point where it is impossible for others to return back??i was wondering why my friend..i was wondering why......
anyway...take care!!!im off...ohh ohhh...nt to bed..i dont sleep at night remember??haha..
toodleS!!!

2010-02-05T11:35:00.002+08:00

and hellos...haha!!fazaaaa!!!hurhur!!!try and find another course that suits u aite...cheerups!!!
wahaha..emm..nnt dah jumpe course aru bilang kae...:)

and ohh ohh...something made me pissed off with the people in my sch...
i was in the kitchen and there were this group of people..guys and girls mixed together..
i can remember each and every word that they've said..
here goes..

girls : eh nanti nak pegi mane mane tak??
guys : kite nak lepak pat tamp nanti...mau ikot pa??haha!!
1stgirl : emm..bole uh..tapi korang naik bus kan..tk cool uh naik bus..*smiles hardly*
guys : eh sorry ar..step kau ade transport sendiri aje??tkmo bual bnyk uh kalau tkde transport sendiri..
1stgirl : lalala..aku ade kawan aku nie..die leh hantar aku mane mane yg aku nak pegi lah...
2ndgirl : stop it sia..tkmo bual pasal laki yg suke pat kau 2..kau tak baik sia uat pakai die..
1stgirl : eh ilek uh..dah die sanggop uat ape ape untuk aku..aku tk bagi die harapan pon..haha..
2ndgirl : tapi tk ke kau mcm gunekan die gitu..jangan lah kau uat die mcm 2..
1st : ilek uhh..lelaki kite leh carik..tk susah nak pikat dorang..setakat tunjok tunjok siket dah habes cerite..haha!!guys will be guys..remember???
guys : eh buto!!perangai tkmo macam sial bole tak..krg pompan dedah sane dedah sini mane laki tk tgk buto??sebelom bual 2 tgk lah lulu..kau terlalu murah..tu pasal kau dedah2..hah!!dah lah..kite malas nk bual ngan kau..tkde gune bual ngan pompan perangai mcm kau..
1stgirl : eh ilek uh korang..die kawan aku je sia..bukannye sape pon..
*guys walks away*

hmm..made me thought of something for a moment..why are people nowadays like this??cant we just understand each other..
define the word friend for me??

to me a friend is someone who is willing enough to be there no matter what for another..
even when he is busy, tired, sleepy or having a problem...a friend will always be there..
a true friend never gives up in something easily when that someone have a problem..
a friend is someone whom u can rely on and not to be used on..
a friend is someone who cares for another and is willing to back up and defend another till the end even if its a losing battle..

people nowadays just dont know how to make friends..mix with the wrong ones..
ahh..nvm..im bored..just dont use the term "friend" at me aite??i know which are my true friends and which are not..i trust my friends..

and for the info, im not the nicest guy around..so stop saying im too nice or too good kae..:)
im tired of listening to the people in my sch that im too nice..look into my past and u'll understand me..i can never be nice to all of my friends..if u get the meaning of a friend, than im happy for u..ill be extremely nice to my true friends..not to some lame "come and go types"..

and ohh!!shahrin's bdae is coming..ill buy him an mp4 i think...XD
here we go!!!hiaaaaaa!!!hurhur!!

*and i missed her..wonder what she is doing??is she fine without me??hmm..*

2010-02-04T17:52:00.001+08:00

and cute little mamat is shouting at the kitchen...XD
SOOOO CUUTTTEEEE!!!!

nanti 1 hari abg bawak keluar kae...tunggu tau...rindu same itu budak kecik lahh...
and i miss kissing him...haaa!!!Xp

2010-02-01T22:36:00.003+08:00

i can never be happy in life...:)
ohh ohhhh!!!when people look at me, confirm they would say "did u use a knife to cut urself??why??"
haha!!lolx!!sorry uh people..i don't know how to take care of myself lahh...
i have all this marks on my hand thanks to "FEDEX"..XD

but hey, im happy working there...so what if i have 3 jobs??so what if i lack of sleep??
so what if im tired??haha...
like i've said, i'll work till i drop..don't force me to quit or ask me why i'm having 3 jobs..:)
i won't listen to what people say from now on kae..:)

i'm happy working at fedex..its like all of them there are a part of my friends..
its easy to talk to them..seriously..
its like one for all and all for one...:)
pls scratches, get well soon...i somehow looked like i cut myself up..heh..

let's see if im able to come out of there without any bruises for tmrw...XD
bestie bdae is tmrw and i haven't bought her any present!!!omg!!!
can i give u a belated bdae present bestie??
pls pls??!??!?!?!

ohh ohhh!!im wishing u happy advance bdae first just incase i fall aslp..im working tmrw..
but ill try and stay awake just for u aite...:)
and shahrin bdae is also coming..i'm buying him an mp3...XD
pitied him lahh..:)

ahhh..im tired..i've tried...now, i have no more hopes and fears..
i'll be myself..my own true self from now on..accepting everyone as a friend..
and also..i have no more interest in studying..motivate me anyone??haha..
teacher told me "zack, u are able to apply for poly..u can get into nyp if there is a slot..or into higher nitec.."

and my decision was...can i not choose both??haha!!let's just see what my decision's are aite...
lalallaa..ok im done...weee!!!i'll wish bestie her bdae on the spot and im off to bed..lalala..hehe!!
toodles!!

2010-01-29T00:46:00.003+08:00

working at hi-ace is fun!!honestly...
made alot of friends there...there is no reason to look at them thinking, "hey,wth..so many matreps"...and in the end through their eyes, im one of them too..awww...haha...lolx...
do i look like a matrep??sad sia...but its ok...:)

i was hoping to talk to the girls there...oh no no..not flirt..just make friends...
ive made alot of guy friends there..not alot..its too much already..haha...the good thing is, everyone owns a bike...weee!!hhaaa!!!raced with them...corner with them...everything them lah sia...haha!!!

and ohhh...people kept asking me..."hey, arent u tired having 3 jobs??"
the ans is yes...im unsure why im being crazy enough to have 3 jobs..:)
im tired..i dont have enough sleep lately..
my schedule everyday is like this...
work than sch than work again and sleep and wake up work and sch and work again..blahblahblah...

i can never change this life of mine...my gf should knock some sense into me..
pls do...im sure she wants to spend time with me too right??i need to spend time with my family..i need to spend time with her..if she can really understand me..

and ohh...i missed someone..its cute to see you get scared over little cockroaches..:)
i understand..you dislike cockroach..i was hoping that you would hold my hand during that time..:)
and ohh..sometimes, when im tired i dont show it to you..and sometimes when i lack of sleep i wont show it to you..there are so many things im hiding now where no one knows about it..
no matter how tired or sleepy i am, it can never change how i feel whenever i see you..
in an instant, those things just go away just to see you..that is how much i feel for you..
and i know you have problems too but pls do share it with me..i want to be there..
i want to be the one whom you needed most..and i want to be the one whom you can rely on..
so pls do reply me when i txt aite..its the only way i know that you are fine..
i can never break my promises and that is one of the reason why im staying by your side..
there are other reasons too for the qn "why am i staying by your side"..
but its ok..ill stick with it for now..pls knock some sense into me..pls do..:)

ok im done..i havent wish goodnight and sweetdreams to her..the girl whose "baby photo" is still with me..XD
ill always look at it..cheers!!
but saying it in the blog wont hurt right???
"GOODNIGHT AND SWEETDREAMS TO YOU!!!"
dont get tired of reading my posts about you aite..try and stay happy and just read on what i have in my mind..pls??:)
toodles!!

"dan aku menanti dan akan tetap menanti sehingga ke hari ini"

"in life..u can never replace this people who are there for u and who are willing to do anything for u..once u let them go, u will find it that there is no one who can replace them..not ur bestfriends, not ur closefriends or any type of friends..these people only appear once and they will never appear again when u let them go..and finding someone like them is almost impossible..they can never be replaced..not even if u search for them.."

thanks to the people who have motivate me..i finally understand to why they are important..:)

2010-01-26T22:08:00.002+08:00

im happy with life now...tkpelahh...i shouldnt text much...
ill just let people think what they like about me kae...
i have my own life to take care of..

and thanks dear frens...but only to some...:)
frens come and go..so if u wana go just go...i dont need u...
and if u dont intend to trust me den just go too aite...
im too tired to entertain all this bullshit..:)

im sure most people dont need me..
n thanks alot for thinking bad about me aite...
im not interested in anyone's frens...just being frens and only frens...
think as much as u like kae...keep on thinking that im interested in ur frens aite...
go ahead...im not bothered to entertain u...:)

in the end, im not the one at fault if anything happens..and ohhh...
im working tml...:)
emmm...im a bit tired...but i dont care...
ill work till i drop till somone knock some sense into me...XD
anyone??haha!!im done!!
toodles!!!

and ayuni....sorry lahh...didnt mean to make u worry...just forget about the "hope" thing....
haha..im fine lah...heee!!!:)
cheerup!!!

2010-01-26T13:23:00.002+08:00

*yawn*
one word..tired...lol!!!haha..
but work was fun fun fun!!lolx!!!
met with new friends..i don't feel bored even for a sec working there..:)
i got to know with asri an 19 year old guy whom i called as "abang" because he looked like he was 25...haha!!*paisey*
*smacks head*

then end work at 830am..but saw this 2 girls..i've seen them before..lol..
it's weird how we work at the same place and company...such a small world..:)
and hey hey hey!!!they said in a good way "eh korang,kalau free datang lagi uh..jadi pat sini cukop org.."
haha...i smiled..despite their looks(matreps type), they were extremely nice and helpful...haha!!!
and the news for today...fedex delivery pokka drink tea lah siot!!haha!!now i know..
haha..ok im done..
im in sch now..doing test..lol!!ttata!!!

*it's weird how i texted but you didn't iply..not even one..*

2010-01-25T14:56:00.002+08:00

about today...ok wait..emm..about just now..haha..went to school at 12 just to go gym...
had lots of fun there with the guys..haha..now my body is damn weak..lolx!!
then off to class but in the end, someone told me that class was cancelled..huahua!!tau gi gym bsk uh and bkn nari!!!grrr!!!

emm..than thought of meeting ayuni since she say she wana meet at school today but than.....
ever have this kind of feeling whereby someone gave u hope that they will meet today and when u are ready to meet that person, that person just crushed it all away by saying "eh,we meet some other days kae"..she said those things like she took my ice-cream and just dropped it on the floor...:(

haha!!thanks uh yunniii!!!!grrr!!!hahaha!!!and ohhh...im home now..
actually from just now and there came a msg on the phone which draws my attention...
someone asked me to join "home team ns competition"..
its a competition whereby guys would have to carry logs, flip tires and other stuffs..
he wanted me to join and the wwinner would get 3k...hmmm...
i dont know if i should join...u wana noe why, bcoz usually there are people who are bigger in size than me...so feel abit awkward..what if i enter the competition only to be seen as the smallest guy there??hmmm..

still pending..the competition is on the 28th of feb..hmmm...nvm...
i still have alot to talk to them tomorrow...for now..
ill just put it aside n rest..im working at 6am tml..n today im working at 6pm...
im damn tired...haix...if only someone can knock me out of my senses..i wouldnt have to go thru all this trouble...nvm...im off!!!
ohh maybe tonight i wont b blogging or onlining..hehe!!sorry!!
toodles!!!

2010-01-25T01:07:00.002+08:00

USOP!!!HAPPY BIRTHDAY UHS!!!I LIKE THIS ARHHHH!!!HAHA!!!
today was a blast...met up with ryan kaito, rain republic, ee seng and usop picatoes..i think...
sorry uh sop salah spelling...name peanut sia...hhaa!!!

and any usop..have a blast today aite...aku wish kau all the best in the future upcoming years...
as a fren,aku tetap akan jage kau baek baek..kau paham kan maksod aku ape??haha..
pape ade hal aku dtg..nnt bdae present kau aku bagi on the 30th aite...
and last long with "duyung"...jage die baek baek...

aku happy sia korang 2 ade mataer..kadang kadang aku sampai cemburu tgk krg ade mataer..
haha..tapi aku rase aku ok lah with this life...maybe i wont be able to get this girl in this life but in the afterlife,i will...:)
insyallah..

haha..and tkmo lupe...on the 13 and 14 feb...kite kua celebrate same same...aku, kau, rin, hafiy, kaito, bil, siddiq, akmal and yg laen..ajak lah mataer krg kalau korang nak aite..
aku tkkn halang...as for kau n rin aku dah anggap mcm abg abg aku sendiri...*ehem*
senang ckp uh..family lah ehk...haha...pape tkmo malu uhs..
aku dah tgk krg nanges seme depan aku..haha!!so tkya malu pape kae...

and rin, sorry uhh..aku tkle accept dier...aku tau die lawa..tapi aku tk interested pat dier uh..
susah aku nak suke dier..aku tau dier suke aku tapi aku tkle terime die..aku harap kau paham uhs..tkya sedeh2 kalau aku tkde mataer ke pape..kau risau kan psl mataer kau aje aite..
jage dier baek baek...haha!!and dok!!kau ingat tak ape kite pena janji dulu??

"together as one we stand..stick together till the end.."
haha!!aku maseh ingat siot!!haha..story dier panjang kan kan!!haha...
and ohhh...sorry people..i might not be free much...
ill be having a busy life from now on..
work,school and rest..sorry yar...ive made this decision..

ill stop if someone knocked some sense in me..so lets just say that ill go all out for everything..
maybe ill be tired but all i can do now is try not to think..i hope u people understand..
toodles!!!

*once king of ROSES, now lord of GOLD"
roses = many admirers/girlfriends
gold = one and only...:)

2010-01-24T03:16:00.003+08:00

just got back home..yet again...i should stop bullshitting around...
its not funny at all..hmmm...

went to pasir ris met up with rin,arif and the girls...have fun..played game...
talked crap..have a heart 2 heart talk...like i said..i wana be frank..ill stop bullshitting..
i can never be perfect..so judge me as u like kae..
only god judge me..

anyway,usop's bdae is coming...im searching for this necklace for him..
the necklace have this chinese word "patience"..haha..
im getting one 2 for my bdae.."trust"/"brave"..
rain's is "longetivity"..

hmm..ohh!!ohh!!i wana buy perfume,shoes,necklace,contacts,solutions and a bracelet..
anyone accompany me pls??im going out this coming sat..ohh no no!!im not riding bike..:)
can i have someone who is willing to go anywhere without taking a bike??pls??
hmm..accompany me aite..

and about the feb babies bdae chalet..still pending..unsure if the plan is on since my bdae is on wed..and rain bdae falls on tues and hafiy's bdae falls on sat..should we make it to sat??hmm..
ill be asking people to come..chalet is on me...food is on shahrin..lolx!!haha..
care to join???anything txt??hehe...

and ohh...i don't mind people clubbing..i don't mind if they can never be perfect cause no one is..
i don't mind if they cared for someone but don't show it..i don't mind if people don't trust me for what i am now..i don't mind if people hate me for flirting around when im not..
can i just be happy like i always am??can anyone understand me??it's up to them to trust me..
i tend to protect my friends,family and gf..i will do anything for my family and they would too..
but would my gf n friends be able to do anything for me if i do??would they??
i have no ans to the qn..its all a matter of time..

ill be happy if u trust me..but if u dont then its up to u to decide aite..
karaoke this coming week..haha..arif asked me out..lol!!haha!!rain!!kau baek datang setan!!haha!!aku nk duet ngan kau uhs...lol!!jumpe kau nnt!!!aku nak tgk beast wars..lol!!!haha!!
toodleS!!!

*if only i can reverse back time, ill change this life of mine into something else..*
~izaki~

2010-01-21T22:38:00.004+08:00

haha...wokey wokey!!!here goes nothing..
like i've said, ill post the picture of me after the accident right right...
haha..nahh...look at me kae...

11mths ather the accident...:)

6mths after the accident...;)

4days after the accident..:'(

so how????handsome righttt???i know...haha...XD
it's almost a year now ever since the accident..hopefully it's the last aite...
haha..and girl, you know that you can never escape from me cause deep inside you need me..
but it's ok...i'm happy if you are...:)
try harder aite..i'm not going to make you angry..if you are meant to be mine, than i won't go anywhere..you are hiding something which you yourself would think, "hey..zack is talking about me"..hehe...let's play guessing game aite...:)

ok im done!!i wana eat kfc now and play plants vs aliens later!!cool lah sia the game!!
anyone wana play??i'll send you the game aite...:)

2010-01-21T12:22:00.002+08:00

hellooo...im in school...lallaa!!!haha..
class start at 11am..and im late for school..just reached here...
and also now than i got to know that i missed 4 tests..huahua!!
im doing it right now..i've got no idea since i didn't study for the tests..
lol!!!

owhh owhhh...yesterday i met ayu under my void deck..after meeting "tiffania" at yishun..
ayu is with her friends and some guy whom she said it was my friend's ex..sheeshhh...
i don't know who the hell that guy is..somehow, ayu was happy to see me..haha..
but we end the talk with a minute of silence...lolx!!and im off home..
owh owh..and she noticed something about me the first thing she saw me..
"hey are u ok??why u look so tired??having a prob??"

i was impressed she manage to spot something..haha...nvm...
im working today..boo...tired sia...
woke up late for sch..
having 4 class/cisco tests..
tired...
working...
haiyaaa....grrr!!!lol!!!nvm!!!

and ohhh!!!i met with kakak sombong when im on the road...like i've said..
she is sombong..dah nampak cume senyum tapi tak text pon saying.."hey!!i saw u!!!"
haha!!lolx!!!sombong...sampai sekarang pon tk text jugak...hurhur!!

and ohhhh!!!my the three feb babies bdae are coming!!!lol!!
we planned on having a chalet on our bdae but see how kae...
still pending...
shahrin!!!zainuddin!!hafiy!!!muahahhaa!!!
and ohhh.....

HAPPY BIRTHDAY BELATED NURSHAFIQAH!!!!!DAH 20 YEARS OLD EHKKK!!!HUAHUA!!!NAK PAPE TAK UNTOK BDAE KAU????BE HAPPY BILE KAU DAH 20 YEARS OLD KAE!!!GI CARIK MATAER PASTU KAHWIN NGAN DIER!!!MUAHAHAHA!!!PAPE NAK JUMPE MSG AKU TAU!!!DEN KITE AMEK GAMBA SAME SAME...LOLX...EH EH!!TKPE...NNT AKU JOIN KAU...EVEN THOUGH KAU DAH 20 YEARS OLD, AKU TETAP JOIN KAU IN BEING CHILDISH KAE!!!HUAHUA!!!

and on my bdae...can i have :
1)shoes
2)necklace
3)perfume

haha..thats all for now..wonder what people are going to give me??
and ohhh...thought i want to spend my bdae with my gf but i'll be celebrating without a gf this year...*sobx sobx*
haha..nvm..it's not about me that is important..i don't think about myself anyway...:)
and and..i'll update my pic tonight k..
some of u wana see the pic when i met into an accident right??hehe..
i'll show my pic before and after the accident...lolx!!!tkmo terkejot taus!!!lol!!!

im done!!continue on with test!!toodles!!!

2010-01-19T22:59:00.002+08:00

been home from just now..replying to comments in fb..emm...
i have nothing to do now..my eyes are red due to something..lol..
i realy need to rest...tml im unsure if i'll be working in the morning..but i dont mind..have to wake up early...and tml i dont know if im working at guardian..
maken uat perangai uhs korang...maken malas nak lyn...haix...

and to a friend of mine..this is something i have thought a long long time ago...
ur engaged..i can see that u are happy with him..i do..but when he is away, why the hell did u txt other guys??u noe he loves u right??he thinks of u when he is there..while u,u just have to fall for another person right??

he have a bike while another have a car...but u like the one with the car..yes he is nice..
but think back, if he can like u when u are engaged, why cant he do it to others??
im not saying its something that cannot happen..but then pity ur guy who is far away from u n thinks of u without knowing about u with another guy...

and there is also another guy who loves u..u said he is too nice for u??than tell me...
what the fuck kind of guy that u want???u used to say "jantan seme same"..
than what about this attitude of urs ur showing me??me and other guys should have the right to say "ur the type of person who is unfit for relations..u just toy around with people's feelings.."

think lahhhh...thinkkkk...why say that all guys are the same in the first place when u are the one making a fuss of it??ur guy is overseas thinking of u and owns a bike which u rode for such a long time, another owns a car and is nice while the last is too nice towards u/clever n have waited for u for such a long time..3 years right??
dont created probs and when ur sad, u search for me..im not bothered to entertain u..
the choice is urs kae..dont mention about guys are the same...
look at urself first before mentioning aite..im sick of working with u...
shessshhh...

ohh lastly...i dont get it...
if the guys are being too nice the girls wont accept them..
"takle uh...aku tkle terime die sebab dier terlalu baek"
den blang siket...kalau laki terlalu baek and korang taknak..
kalau korang dapat mataer yg jahat sgt korang complain..
dapat yg average pon krg ckp "jantan seme same"..
abeh korang nak sape???blang cket???
aku nak jawapan uhhh...tak paham ar...
*only to some girls n not all...*
yg terase 2 blang kae..tkya malu malu..aku cume nak tau jawapan aje uh..

im too tired..thanks for creating trouble at work...im done...off to bed i guess if i can manage...haix...

2010-01-19T00:09:00.002+08:00

i'm back home!!currently worried...hmm...
haix...

anyway..i need to buy new contacts..any idea what colour??i like blue..emm..ill not buy grey or brown..haha..sorry..i have nothing much to say about today..

to everyone..im sorry if im being a bad friend..i just need some time..so pls do reply me back when i text..pls??im not sad or anything if people dont reply me back..i just need someone whom i can talk to for now..pls..do text me back..pls??

im so stress that i cant sleep now..haiya...

2010-01-18T16:16:00.002+08:00

damnnn...im friggin shagged...lol!!haha..
sch starts at 1pm n mom left me alone at home to attend something which includes my abg's wedding...and hell..i cannot stop thinking what life would be like without both my bro's at home..might be lonely cause my family is complete with them around...:(
but everyone got to get married someday right??so i'll just keep this feeling aside for the sake of their happiness..

moving on...reached sch..went to the men's club..XD
den off to class..thought of meeting ayuni and the gang kejap tapi i'll skip..
drg dah sombong mahh..mane nak lambai lagi kan kan..sobx...

haha..then off to class..and we have a phase test..baek uhhh...
didnt study for it...but i manage to complete it..haha...thanks uh people..
owh owh..im working today and tomorrow the start of my working life...
work starts at 6am in the morning...have to wake up at 5 and off to changi..lol!!
dont think diffly...im working at cargo..not bapok ok..ohhh well..
i have to do this thing...if not i'll think alot..
haha...nvm me..to the rest of you, anything just text me and i'll be there..:)

dont worry..i still do have alot of times for my friends..
but for this special someone..my time is all hers..:)
ohh no no...as a friend only..not more than that...cheers!!
"if i'm meant to be hers than she still won't go anywhere right.."

haha..but still i don't wana say anything..i'll lead my single life for now..
eh yunii!!kite maseh scandal per??orr u have found another person??grrr!!haha!!!
see u soon in sch kae sombong...

and shasha..kenape sad sad nie??tkmo lah mcm gini..cheerup uhs!!!kite pat sini kan kan..lolx!!!
pape text kae dear friend...:)

and bestie....can meet me on feb??hehe...ill book you first on the 2nd of feb..set??reply me soon kae..hehe...!!!i have something to talk to u about...important!!!

im working later at 6pm..sorry if im not able to online much but anything just text me if u cannot sleep or anything kae..cause i don't sleep at night..i sleep somewhere when its close to daylight..like a bat somehow..haha!!ok im done...toodles!!

2010-01-18T02:13:00.002+08:00

ohhhhh!!!lol!!fine im lame..
eh eh....i wonder what it's like to be hanging out all day without worrying about anything...
just got back home...
hangout with siddiq, shahrin and kaito..usop went home early...hmm..

advices are the things that i need for now..yar, im being dumb i guess..:)
ohh well...life must still go on right??
how about we make a deal??

i'll make everyone my friend??no quarrels, no arguments and just being friends??
no flirting, no more giving people hopes and everything??
be a friend to me and i'll be yours??talk bad about me and ill..hmm..i'll think about it...XD

to you..especially to you..i'll make you a friend of mine from now on aite..
no more miss understandings and anything..i'll be happy if you are..
i'm your neighbour and you are mine..so let's make this as a start of something new aite..
forget the past move on to the future..
i'll be your friend and you'll be mine..
how close you want me to be it's all up to you..
i'll stick to my words this time aite..i can assure you..
i'll stick to my promises..i won't break anymore..
can we start afresh as friends this time??you'll have my word...
give me the answer aite..my time is all yours so decide aite..
and cheerup..i'll be there for you...

and owh..i'll begin a new life..no more promises to anyone..
im done with promises..i'll be friends with everyone..
stay with me and i'll keep and take care of you well..
shahrin knows the truth about me when i say this phrase..:)

and rain..cheerup lah..like i've said..in relation..when you love someone but there is another person who loves you while the one you love don't love you but only wants you, just choose the one who loves you aite..it'll take some time for you to fall for the girl but it'll worth every thing if you try aite..either one will hate you for the decision..follow what your heart says and not what other people think of it..
aku tetap akan jage kau dok...kau paham maksod aku ape kan??
haha..ade problem picit aku...aku tau kau bace and aku TAU GILER BILER KAU COMMENT EHKKKK....so tkya sembunyik2...haha...

owh well..it's the begginning of my true life now..i'll make it the best 2010 for the people that i cared for..i'll try my best for everyone..insyallah...:)
ok ok..done..i'll update for tomorrow aite..

just wait for it....i'll be the best friend that all you people ever have..
so here i come..ok im being immature..stop it siak...haha!!toodles!!

2010-01-17T01:45:00.002+08:00

when the time comes..i'll be back..but for now..i'll be busy with life..
sorry..i'm sure you can depend on your own and your friends..do take care..
i'm better off alone anyway..stay happy aite..:)

yours truly
ZACK..

about this girl.....

2010-01-16T21:35:00.003+08:00

for today i wish to write about this one girl that i love alot...
just for today...please bear with me...actually, im not having any mood to post about today thanks to a group of policemen who have to just find faults towards me because of a complaint from a resident..thanks uh resident..ill skip this part...

for today, im writing this on behalf of my friends since he wants to know why i loved her so much..

about this girl..
the reason why i loved her so much more than any other girls...
1) she is the one who took care of me and came to the hosp for 5 days straight
2) she is the one who met with my whole family(the first)
3) the one who is hard to get
4) the only one who manage to make me fall so hard on her
5) the one and everything that i need to make myself complete

actually, there are many more..to be frank, i love her for what she is now..
it's funny how we fought with each other and until now we are still contacting..
she is the longest so far that i have fought with..probably the worst but no matter what, i notice that i still do love her and alot..
it's like we are not bf/gf and we are quarrelling like one..have this jealousy kind of feeling even when we are not in a relation..she is the first that made me felt this way..

i don't blame any one for the accident..it happens for a reason..
i love it when she is by my side..there's this strong feeling whereby i want to get well so that i can be with her and stop her from being sad looking at me at my lowest point of time..
i'm willing enough to hurt myself just because of her..i can't tell this feeling exactly but all i can say is when i love someone, i tend to protect her at all cost..

those eyes, those smiles, those laughter, those late night talks that kept me awake even when im working or schling the next day, that outings, those ridings and everything, im happy when she is around..i really do..i promised that i'll love her and make her happy..
there was this prayer that i asked from god..

translation :
"dear god, pls don't let me find the easy type of girl as i want to try hard in achieving her..so far amongst my ex's i didn't even try half of what im capable of..i want someone who is hard to get and i will try my best for the challenge in getting her.."

guess my wish was granted but then for some reason, god gave me someone who is not hard to get but extremely hard to get..haha..its funny..owh well, at the same time, i told god to make me the one that she would love the most amongst any of the guys she met and i told him that ill try my best..

i nearly give up..as i don't know if things can go on with us quarrelling and fighting but for some reason, we really never did leave each other..even when she said this will be the last time..
it never really happen and i'm happy that we are still okay..there is this urge whereby this feeling coming from her asking me to stay by her side..somehow it felt that way..
i want to stand by her, protect her, care for her more than a friend and love her more than a girlfriend..i prayed hard for her happiness even though im going thru sadness..

i hate it if she cries and get sad because of others..im a jerk at the same time for making her cry..
i tried several times to make her happy but guess sometimes im just thinking about myself..
that's why..i used to not accept the fact that she is not wearing a tudong but than i can't force her right??i should love her for what she is..but now, is it possible to make her mine??

she's been asking me to be a friend and only a friend but i don't want to..i want to be more than a friend..there is a reason for it..
1) i promised that she would be the first to ride my clas 2A and 2 bike
2) if i move on, i'll miss having the first girl on my bike now
3) the feeling isn't going to be the same whereby i have to shout at her since sometimes she can't her me..:)
4) i don't want anyone else to replace the one that i loved so much
5) i cannot bear to have someone else riding with me at my back except her and only her

things aren't the same if i were to be with another girl..i want to do everything with her..
watching her sleep..look at her face when she sleeps..be there when she needs me..
protect her at all cost..be a shoulder for her to cry on..i want to be everything that she needs from a guy..i really do..even though we quarrelled like mad, i still do love her..
i love her more than anything else..i don't hate her at all..

every single day i dreamt of her, thinking of her each sec, hoping and wondering when will i get her even though she told me to move on..
i'm just afraid to lose her..this feeling whereby i want myself to be the one holding her and no one else..i'm being selfish right..and we keep coming back for each other no matter how hard we quarrel and says goodbye towards each other..we keep on coming back..
is there a reason??why we are like this??i still don't have the ans..
is she made for me??is what she is going thru is because of my prayer??if it is, than im sorry..
i don't want her to be sad..it's ok if im going thru this pain rather than her..

i just cant move on..im not interested in anyone else except her..i need her...
i miss calling her baby,
i miss caling her cutestuff,
i miss calling her tiffania,
i miss giving her a warm hug when she is down,
i miss showing that i love her,
i miss looking into her eyes, her smiles and laughter..

i love her..i really do..i swear to god that she is the one that i love alot that im able to wait for her for more than a year..i want her to love me too but im unsure if she is able to..
i want to start afresh but than...

i want to be happy with her..i hate those quarrelling and fighting..i just want to love her and show her how much i cared for her..
pls god, give me strength/faith/trust and patience in making her happy..
ill be faithful, ill be a much better person if she is mine...
i cant stop thinking of her at all..she is like a drug to me..
and i love my drug..

i know i broke some promises that ill quit smoking, i made her feel jealous, i made her feel insecure with me texting other girls but im ready to love her and only her..i never did find replacements as i can never forget the one who i treasured the most and is always in my mind..
if its possible to forget her, i really don't want to..i want her to be my sweetest drug..
i know that she can be the best and have faith in me that i'll take good care of her..

i want her to share her probs with me..cry at me..sleep on me..get her warmth from me and feels secure with me around..i really do want it to happen..i really do want to receive that love from her..insyallah, if i ever get her, the air that i breathe, my love and my life belongs to her and only her and no other girls..i promise..

is it possible Allah??pls grant me my wish..that's all im hoping for..
to be honest, i feel sad posting this thing..i dont want her to be hurt by other guys who plays around with her feelings..i want to make her complete with me around..
pls..pls..just this once..the last thing that im hoping for..
grant me this wish..ill take good care and love her..
just this once..pls...

im sorry for the long post..this is only meant for her and no one else..
ill update about the bad thingthat happened to me today for tomorrow's post..
i need a break..goodnite...

2010-01-15T00:39:00.002+08:00

im still awake..lolx..
i have good news and bad news...
the good news is...i wont be texting much nowdays...
im too busy to text anyone...haha...so anything just text and ill reply aite..
i wont be bothered to text anyone anymore....
just my friends...if u want me to entertain u, den text me and ill reply kae???
ok settle..

the bad news...emm...u people noe that i have 2 jobs now...
first is at suntec and second is at guardian...
and here comes the third job..ill be working at changi village...
cargo complex uhs!!haha...so like ive said...
ill be extremely busy...lol!!!
malas nak layan org n i wana be busy all the time so i have no time to think about anyone...
wee!!!i change myself...so many of u took me for granted...haha...

oh well..life must move on right??ill lead mine and u lead urs...fair??
haha...and ohh ohhh...my japanese name is "izaki"...
lol!!someone gave me that name...oh dont worry...its not a girl...:)

and and...my 2 bros are getting married...im gonna be all alone...again....boohuuuu!!sobx!!!
bestie!!!pls be okay aite...ill be fine as long as i have u with me...cheerup aite...
whatever happens,ill stay by ur side!!!woot!!!haa...
ok im done...ill be busy starting next week...
kalau korang tk jumpe aku ke pape den sorry k...
find someone else utk krg uat pakai kae...
ciaoz!!!haha!!!

2010-01-14T00:02:00.002+08:00

haix...its bored when you text people and they seem not to iply..
sedeh siaa..haix..tkpelah..forget about it..

and ohhh ohhh!!can i be "izaki" pls pls?!?!?!haha...
i wana have izaki as my nick..lol!!hahah!!!as in my japanese name...lolx..
haha..
for today i have nothing to tell u people anything..so just wait for tml kae....

and ohhhh!!!i miss anak sha'ari...ahaha...ok random...
ok go!!toodles!!

2010-01-13T00:30:00.002+08:00

im friggin tired..sheeshh...
yest..accompanied shahrin at his workplace at kembangan plaza...
i swear its the worst 7eleven that i have ever been to..
its messy and untidy..shesshh...he asked what time im going off..time check its 12am..
but than i dont want to leave him there alone so i helped him out with his store and asked yusof to accompany and help us out..haha!!it was fun..shout like mad and joke around..

talk about life..talk about girls...mostly girls...
shahrin is under dilemma..he likes girls wearing tudong..but his gf doesnt wear one when she prromised to do so when she is 18 and she is 20 now..hmm...
promises are meant to be broken by some people anyway..
this girl confess to him dat she loves him and shahrin was stunned and dont know what to do..
so me and shahrin talk to him about it..

but then..thanks to me and usop, i was asked the same qn back...
sheshhh...thanks uh krg..syg korang many many lah sia...haha..

rain : zack..kau blang aku..is it worth it??aku stress tgk kau gini..kau nye situation lagi rabak dari aku..tapi kau mcm relek aje..
usop : a ah sia..kalau aku, aku carik je sia yg laen..
me : maybe sebab aku sayang kan die tuhh dee maxx dat y aku stay..aku made a promise sia..aku intend to keep it tapi aku tak tau sampai biler...
*talked till 5am in the morning*

there are many things which i dont understand but only observe..i notice how people change..
how they intend to be unhappy btwn the age of 17-19..
as in nowadays lah..u dont have to talk much or listen to them but just observe and u will see the different type of people around...

can i have someone who is willing enough to go out with me but not spending on anything??
can i have someone who will ask me wherever i go??
can someone ask me who am i going out with??
can someone pls tell me "hey, im here for you..im happy with you around and i need you"..??
can someone pls laugh at my jokes even though its not funny sometimes and can be lame??
can someone just pls try and understand what im feeling inside and not the outside??

yes..its true im keeping myself silent looking at couples..holding hands and everything..
can i have this warm hug which i wanted so badly from someone??
pls..just take and draw my attention towards you..ill be faithful..ill stay by ur side..
ill be the best bf ever if i try hard enough...but most of all..can you love me the way that i want it to be??
i dont need to be pampered or anything but i just need someone..someone whom im willing to die for..
stop asking.."hey..are you willing to die for ur gf"??
ive posted before that im willing to die for my family and the ones close to me..
when you are my gf, you are considered a part of my family so stop asking this questions aite..

and ohh..ill not die for my country..it sounds stupid to me but ill die for god if i have to..
and sooo..here goes life..
can you not treat me as a fren??can you treat me more than this??
are willing enough to take this relation to the test??
cause i am but are you??

for now i just need someone to stay by me..hey..having a gf doesnt mean she cannot be ur close fren or a fren k..its bullshit if u think that way..
and ohh...i failed my napfa..thanks to my 2.4km..shessh...
pls pls..let me retake it again..i missed it yest but i wont next week..hopefully..
haha..insyallah..

"my answer is..I'll stay..promise!!"

2010-01-11T13:53:00.002+08:00

im bored at school..haha..i was wondering why infocomm dont have much of guys here..how come only the engineering have alot of guys??haha..but never mind..im happy with the friends that i have in class..no matreps and no minahs in the class..haha..except for one..oh no no..not me..i only look like one of them..haha!!many people said so..

i want someone to look at me and say.."hey!!u are not a matrep lah..."XD
haha..nvm about it..im happy with the way i am anyway...
and ohhh...ohh..i failed for my test..ohh well..tmrw is retest..insyallah this time ill pass..
pray for me anyone???

ill study hard..wana be in nyp!!ok go!!
hmm..i hope that someone will enter poly as well..
pls dont give up yar???you promised mum dat you wont dissappoint her..yes..
people do change..but a promise is a promise right???:)
do your best kae...ill support you till the very end..

class starts at 1pm and im here thinking of smoking in the toilet..haha..
sape sape nak ikot tak??haha...
and owh owh..ill try and upload the video of me and a fren of mine(still searching for him) singing by next week kae..can can??pls pls??
kawan kawan ku seme pemalu uhs...tk supporting sia..
haha..ok im done...nak study...but before that,ill go toilet jap kae..haha..
im done..ill update tonight when i have the time...Cheers!!!

"i've been thinking about you and how we used to be then
back when we didnt't have to live we could start again
there's nothing left to say, don't waste another day
just you and me tonight, everything will be okay
if it's alright with then it's alright with me
baby let's take this time let's make new memories
do you remember??
all the times we had..let's bring it back.."

and ohh ohh..i saw this in fb..
"put this on my life. the air that i breathe in, all that i believe in. i promise i'll give my life, my love and my trust............"

awwww...its so sweet and touching sia..really!!!can i be the one??pls pls??lolx!!!
ohh..ok..im off to toilet...toodles!!

2010-01-11T01:18:00.003+08:00

ohhh!for the past two days..im tired like mad sia..
emm..on sat..went out early in the morning to send sis to her workplace when the day before i slept at 3am..then then, after sending her told someone that ill be there by 7:40 pm..
ohh wow!!im impressed..its the ferst time that person came on the dot..HAHAHA!!lol!!

and ohh..went to nyp..luckily tak sesat uhs..i can remember the way there..sobx..owh..than went home and rest for awhile but went out again and work..i was friggin sleepy..
after work,went home slept awhile before the same person texted me again..haha..
at that time "siape lak nie!!!eeee!!geramnyerrr!!nak tido pon tk senang!!grrr"
and at an instant..*i smiled*
haha...you dont have to know why..

than off to the void deck and someone hide from mummy..haha!!adorable sia!!
emm..than go around for 2 hours i think??iye ke??2 hours ke??dont feel like it...seems like an hour gitu..any ideas?aha..
than off home shouting like mad..thanks to someone..lol..

than went home though i told someone dat im going sheesha..tired lahh..lol..
and at 12 shahrin texted..dok jumpe per??
ok set...
bengap siak!!tk ckp tido lagi...
grrR!!!tkpe tkpe..
met him n siddiq and met another fren of mine and hangout till5am in the morning..
haha..thanks for the time..i enjoyed with you people around...haha!!
cheers!!

oh oh!!im in love with my adik sedare..
the name is "qimy" and something something..haha..
i wana carry him but he cried..he's like a few days old and so tiny..haha..
ok dont..im done blogging...
tmrw i wana post about this someone lah..guess who kae??
haha!!

2010-01-07T22:19:00.002+08:00

gosh, im dead tired for today..but on the happier note/side..
my bike is fully complete!!!weee!!!haha...alhamdullilah!!!
i wont post the pic of my bike here..nak tgk gi tgk sendiri urh!!
muahaha!!

and owh owh..went nyp today...its boring since we just walked around the campus..but then, there are many guys and girls who look at us(ite students) with some thoughts in their mind..
like example : "kauu...budak ite pulak ade pat sini...uat menyemak aje.."
they give u this one kind of look that would make u look down on urself...hmmm...
nvm..but overall, the trip was fun!!haha..accompanied by rain, usop and my classmates and some others..the tour guide was extremely nice and friendly..haha!!both are guys btw...
they are about my age..

so far i think they are the only one who manage to respect us and give us intertainment..haha!!
and tmrw is going to be another day in sch and at 1pm, we have to be at SP(singapore poly).
but i cant be there...sorry...i have to go for my prayers..but hey, im really hoping to get to in nyp and skip higher nitec..insyallah!!!ill try my best!!pray hard for me pls??

haha..n to someone..sorry lah if im sombong just now..was in a rush to nyp lah..im late so i just have to wave goodbye only..sorry???:(

and i have something to declare...
if you want me to like you...just drag my attention towards you....it helps...but for now...i'm not looking forward into relationship..im working and barely have enough time for family..i dont know if im able to cope with a girlfriend around me..if she is willing to understand me, then ill be happy enough to get you..but so far..mcm tkde ajeeee..hmmm...

and and...i maybe visiting usop's dad at ttsh(tan tock seng hosp)..he's been warded there because of lung cancer due to his long lost smoking habit...will it happen to me too??
see..like i've said..i cant win against this urge of mine unless my gf help me to quit...i need encouragement and support..i cant do this alone but she have to be able to understand me..i really hope she will..haha!!

owh..and soon ill be posting of myself singing if i manage to understand the right way to play the guitar..insyallah...:)
ok im done..need to rest...tired lah...

and to you..pls..give me comment can??i was hoping for it but you just kept silent..*sobx*

2010-01-05T23:00:00.003+08:00

wahhh...im stunned!!so many people read my blog today...hurhur!!
im half happy and half *ehemehem*...
fine forget about me...
try guessing aite..i wont tell which is who..all i can say is...guess k...:)

owh yar..ive given up hope on some people..seriously..im too tired..
i tried to be nice..be better than any of ur guy friends..but some of u just did understand me..
pls dont be angry at others and vent it on me aite..im not at fault..i can be ur listening ear but when i text u, it means im alone and i need someone to talk to so dont get angry at me for no reason can??i just want someone to accompany me..but then diff things happen..just when i thought i wana be happy..dah sedeh alek..haiyaaa...
nvm..ill just forgive u for ur mistake..im not that perfect either...:)
just keep urself happy whoever u are kae..

n to you...you know that i miss you..need you..and you know when im talking about you..told you that it's hard for me to forget you..you are like my own brand of heroin..lol!!*stole that from twilight*...shhhh!!!haha!!XD

owh yar...farktard shit btol uh!!!today i went sch and there's alot of matreps!!so much of hoping not to see them..atleast a little will do but than there is alot of them!!!haha...and also..an additional speech from most of my friends..."eh zack...dont hate matreps lahh...u looked like one anyway...XD"
babi!!haha!!fine!!i look like one but im not suppose to assume someone that he is a matrep thru the looks right??haha..bad me!!bad me!!dont think bad of other people lahh...grrr!!!

and there is also the highlight of today!!guys on bikes tries to impress girls!!!huahua!!!
me??ohh no no..im not riding bike to sch today..my bike is somewhere far from me..sobx..took bus to sch lah..sedeh kan..ape nak uat...
and also..someone ask me to enter girls toilet..SOMEONE!!!
haha!!!but no no!!i didnt..haha!!goodboy..weeee!!!

and and..this one is specially for u...
i dont fine ur looks interesting but there is something about u that is special..u are one nice and understanding person..u are special thru the inside..its rare to find people like this..dont ever look down on urself by saying ur ugly..ur not..no one is beautiful and ugly..everyone is just average thru god's eyes..u are there for ur frens and try to make them happy and listen to their probs..sometimes u are lame but thanks to ur lame jokes..it did manage to make me smile..haha...i appreciate that u listen to me..u n me are going thru the same..im going thru this relationship prob and u go thru ur friendship's situation..if she really treasures u, she'll stay with u..for now just watch what she is doing aite..but at the same time..keep urself happy k..weee!!!im here to listen to ur prob if there is anything u need to tell aite!!yay!!
u have nice friends around so keep urself happy..dont let ur other friends sad looking at u like this just because of someone k..cheers!!woot!!woot!!!

and ohh...i hate when people have this kind of thinking.."ur a guy..u shud text me first..not me"
its lame ok..both are equally the same..only the way u think is lame...if let say u like a guy when the guy didnt notice u..surely u text him first aite??sheeshhhh!!lame excuse...

and to you..pls...text me back when i text you in the morning...sad sia i wake up early just to wish you goodmorning but you didnt wish me back..*sobx*
hahha!!!kecohhh!!lol!!itu pon nak sad ehk...hurhur!!just reply me back aite..pls???:)
cheers!!
ok im done..gtg!!!toodles!!!

"she is 160cm lah sia!!!"

2010-01-05T00:57:00.002+08:00

just got back home..shits!!tired like a toot!!haha..
oh oh!!sorie lah...im not schling today...tk dapat jumpe pat skola..kesian dier tak dapat maen lambai lambai kan kan!!hehehe!!
ill be at sch at 1pm tmrw...bored..but not working tmrw..weee!!!

and ohhh ohhh!!i duno why but there was this fren of mine said something about a matrep who wants to get to know with her...
she told me...
guy : eh eh!!u look so preety lah...can kenal kenal??
her : sure sure...omg!!u look so like one matrep...haha..
guy : eh dont say like that lah...im not a matrep lahh..im a good guy..
her : emm..proofs??
guy : let me tell u something..i may look like matrep but my heart is flower u noe...

hhaa!!!i laughed like mad at his jokes!!!lol!!seriously...u shud understand why..haha...
tmrw..ill be wearing red shirt and black jeans and shoes...together with *behind blue eyes*...
im going to check on the new juniors..lol!!just check check only lahh...not interested in getting to know with them...serious!!haha!!

and ohh ohh!!some people keep on asking me...
"what do u think of me??"
i hate it when people ask me that qn..but then ill post it here if u want to know about urself aite..i
dont have much to say about u people..ill just write down n u can guess which is u k..but then there are this 3 people im interested in for now..ohh no no..im not using sweetwords against them..i wana stop and check on the one that i can keep for a long period of time but somehow i dun get the treatment dat i want despite being nice to them..so here goes aite..

1st person
u are a nice person..something about u makes me feel comfortable to be around with..but the problem is..i dont mind u being with ur friends but why must u feel jealous when im around with mine??we are just friends for now..im not giving u hope but then u just keep on saying "zack..u have alot of gfs..i dont know if we can "click" together as i also do have a lot of guys friends..i dont want u to be jealous when u see me with other guys..."
ok wait..lemme ask u...is it me or u that gets jealous easily??we are not even attached and ur saying all this things about me??let me ask u again..ever hear me talking about girls towards u??i dont..but u did..ur asking me qns about where i go and all..i noe u just want to know since u cared but i need my freedom too u know?im sorry...but i just want to be friends for now...
so guess who u are now ok??

2nd person
i just cant help myself knowing that u are once a nice person..but now u are being diff..i missed the times we used to go out together..those grey/green eyes that i adore..u dont look good with brown eyes..haha..i adore u because u manage to make me feel complete..but then its the same thing..u like to assume..whatever i did,i always tell u what im doing and where i go..i feel that i need u but then i cant help myself knowing that i made u broke up with ur ex..i dont want u to look at me saying "hey i cant be with this guy as he reminds me of him everytime"..
i noe im the cause of it but i really wanna try hard to win it back..but u are just being diff..diff then before..i missed those times but people do change right??pls be the old u..ill be happy enuf even if i didnt get u..ur laughter, smile, eyes and warmth are the things that i really need to go on with life..but u just didnt see it..u just didnt see what im trying to do..im sorry...i cant help it since u are the first to make me think that u are made for me..i want to save it so much to an extend dat i always tried to save it whenever we quarrelled but u always try to break it...
guess who u are aite??

3rd person
u are one shy girl..im happy to be with u..but the only disadvantage is, u are someone close to my friend..i used to like u because of ur lameness and jokes..haha..it manage to make me smile when im at my lowest..thank u for the gifts..u are the 3rd person to give me something that i want..haha..im happy to receive it since i want it so bad..and ohh ohh..i used to get lost at ur place..maybe tak biase lah org katekan...i dont know if u like me or not but i dont want to hurt u..
im stuck in one part whereby if i have the chance to be with u, if anything happens, i dont want my friend to be talking about me...im sure u can find another guy that is better than me...i hope u will..im not good enuf for u..my past is my mistake..im learning from it as i dont want to hurt u..im sorry...
guess who u are aite??

4th person
even if we just got to know each other..i feel as if i need to get to know more about u..i hate it when u talk about death and used to want to end ur life..u didnt understand what its like to be alone without anyone and silence is the only thing that can keep me from getting angry..
sometimes i have to raise my voice just to knock some sense out of u..its not the end of everything aite..u might be a lil rough on the outside but i know deep inside u want to show this shy person right??dont talk to me about "hey..jeles per.." cause im not..im just soul searching..u cant beat her..
but u can try to change it..u can try to change urself and be happy..i noe u used to be bad but now u have change for the best..*u keep track of time..*
i used to say " i dont care for ur looks..cause no matter how preety u are, i can never fall for them unless u noe that im not looking for preety girls but what i can find inside that attracts me to her"..hope u remembered the phrase..and dont be jealous aite when i say "i have more than urs"..cause compare to mine..urs is more..i dont msg girls nowadays..i dont know why..dont ask..but when we went out together that time, u kept showing me ur hp saying "ish..ramai nah org msg..kadang kadang malas nak layan"..i didnt mind about it much but i kept thinking, if it were to be me showing to u..how would u feel??ever thought of that??
guess who u are aite??

5th person
the one used/use to have blonde hair yang tak menjadi..haha..i still remember that..ohh ohh!!u have the hair that i adore but why must it be blonde??i hate that colour u noe..i dun mind if its red, brown or black..but not blonde..it doesnt look good on u..pegi uat alek lah rambot 2..haha!!
remember u used to find me asking to fetch from ur place but sometimes i didnt..u have alot of people to rely on now..they already owned a bike and ur happy since u have others to rely on instead of me only..haha..i used to think "why do girls make use of guys who owns bike"??
i dont have the ans to that qn..but if it were to be in ur shoes..how would u feel??im sure u will feel diff..i thought u said u like me but somehow when u said so about "yg laen ade..ilek uh.."
it sounds as if ur cheap..honestly..cant u just stick to one??im dissapointed in u when u said that phrase..u have the figure that any guy would have want/urge in having u because of ur figure..
but i just cant help thinking, if u as a pillion sometimes place ur spare parts, the guys at the front would be happy to get to feel them from the back..some guys do feel so aite..i have friends who admitted so..see..how am i suppose to fall for u if ur being cheap??tell me how??it irks me knowing u ride on others bike and let them feel the same way like how those people want it..
sheeeshhh..
guess who u are aite??

6th person
ever heard of "if u can kiss one guy and let him kiss u back even before being in a relation..u can do it at the other guys too..."
EVER HEARD OF THIS PHRASE??SHEESHHHH!!!
guess who u are aite??

im done..actually not lahh..
still have a few more but guess the rest is not that important...
im tired of this aite...im doing soul searching and i find this type of people..
im not saying im perfect..i do have flaws too but then please try to be reasonable k..
im tired to listen to people saying hey..im in love with that guy when he/she is in a relation or engaged..i really am..why is everyone turning only to me??try and place urself in that position aite..u are in a relation with the one u love but in the end he/she said dat they are into another person..feel like one fucktard friggin shit right??sometimes i wonder, its true what al-quran stores within itself..humans are much more worse than animals..they can think but still chose the wrong path..im not that perfect,i do make mistakes too..but it all links aite..it do..

and lastly, i dont know why but this heart of mine is giving me probs..ever watch "alien vs predator"??whereby when the alien place the babies in the humans and when it hatch, itll burst open the humans chest??
i kinda have that feeling nowdays..and its appearing more and more..its hard to breathe and hurts like toot sia!!haix..
is my time up??oohhh...pls dont tell me..i still have too much sins towards god and i need to pay him back..give me some time pls??its hurting me now and its getting more and more..i nearly collapse just now when hanging out with shahrin and usop..haix..sorry guys for the trouble..i just need time..can i feel dat im being loved by everyone and someone??
just one..i need her to help me quit smoking..they say its possible..i do believe in myself but with bad influences around, im no match to fight with this urge of mine..im weak lahh..:(
ok im done..off to bed..
sorry for the long post aite..
toodles!!nite nite!!

"fixing a broken heart..XD"

2010-01-03T23:39:00.003+08:00

im keeping track of whats happening now...
and its about......lol!!im not gonna say...
haha...

woooo!!!tmrw is a brand new day at sch..boring...lol...same thing each time at sch...
*yawn*
and owh..today at work, is bloody boring..haa..i missed bike...sobx..
pls come back yar...hurhur!!bsk gi skola naek bus lah nampak nyer...wee!!

and owh...to everyone..if im missing one day, to find me, just search for this people to know where i am kae...
1st -akmal
2nd - shahrin
3rd - yusof
4th - hafiy
ok??settle...haha...pandai pandai yek..

sch starts at 1300hours tmrw and im sure someone is extremely happy to get to wave at me again...as in she and her friends...haha!!im looking forward to it aite...
and now..mum is asking me to ask all my frens to come for both of my bro's getting married...
wahh..ramai per nak ajak...and also a special qn from her..."nak ade sape pat sebelah nanti??tkkn pegi sorang aje..."

i duno mum..honestly i duno..pls dont stress me out with this qn kae..ill ask whoever it is to accompany me but only when im ready kae..not now..
and ill be getting bike back on wed or thurs...not sure whether itll be nice or not but ill just leave it aside aite...atleast not green..penat org asik asik ckp..sia!!common sia green!!nabehhh...haha!!

kla..ill end here...tired lah...but currently chatting...
and ohhh...i dont go around flirting k...dont assume...XD
toodles!!!

*154-161cm*

2010-01-03T00:02:00.002+08:00

hello wello!!!wee!!ok im bored..lol!!blog!!blog!blog!!!
for 4-5 days im unable to meet my beloved gf..she is somewhere im unable to reach..will only be able to see her on wed or thurs..haha..dont think diffly ehk..im talking about my bike..haha...
pls come back soon...lol!!!

and someone mentioned about my post yest.."ill mention who am i in love with day by day"
haha..ingat aje kau ehk!!babs tol!!aku sendiri lupe siak...
nnt nnt leh kae...

and oh oh!!there is a couple of people who keeps going back and fourth my work place..calling out my name, whistle and like to smile at me..those same few faces i keep on seeing each day..
dont ask me who cause i myself dont know who the hell they are..but all of them are girls...
estimated age is about 16 to 19 i think..haha...
its not fun at all since they are the minahrep type..and some even smoke..lol!!im not interested..sumpah!!haha..

one qn..do i look like a matrep??sedeh siak...
tkpelah..im happy with the way i look like..
someone asked..should she keep long hair??straight??perm??short hair??
how the hell am i suppose to know..i never even met u before...remember???
haha!!!

but to be frank..ill get attracted to girls with medium straight hairs..black or brown is fine with me..but its not the hair that im interested with..its the eyes..haha!!
and ohh!!i love blue and black ok!!get it in ur mind..not green and red..bluek!!

and btw..shahrin planned to make a chalet on his,mine and hafiy's bdae..i dont mind about it...he said...aku ajak mataer aku!!kau ajak uh sesape!!
yar..so much of the sesaper...lol...and both bros are getting married and they asked the same thing..kau ajak uh pompan kau!!and so much of the "pompan aku" again...

stop asking me to find someone ok..im not ready yet lah korang..pls??
too tired..too busy...i dun want my gf to ask me out on the day that im working..im always working and i dun wana neglect her..kesian dier..whoever she is...
if she can understand me den im happy enuf..

kla..i need to meet shahrin n siddiq now..bloody hell!!hantu malam sia zack..haha..
toodles!!night night!!!

and here it goes...
"the girl with blonde hair yg tak menjadi...haha!!!"

2010-01-02T00:36:00.002+08:00

ill upload maybe just one pic..there she is...the bdae girl for yest..too bad i didnt get the chance to take pic with adilla..haha!!!ok ayu!!make sure u make ur wish about the thing u said yest to come true ok??forget the past..look towards the future..be urself..love urself and may u will succeed in life aite..cheers!!!MAEN GAME LAH LAEN KALI!!!TK SUPPORTING SIA KAU!!HAHA!!

*i'll forgive and forget..ill accept u back with open arms..confirms!!haha!!*

2010-01-02T00:09:00.000+08:00

heelllloooo weellooo!!sorry for not updating for a while...
im suppose to blog about this new year thingy..haha..but i kinda forget about it since im busy with my own stuffs...
here i go..
about yest..NEW YEAR!!!lol!!!

i worked in the morning and end at 2pm..lol!!den off to east coast..boo...bike is giving me probs..so took a bus there..lol!!and there goes maxi blue,maxi grey and misty grey eyes..we were suppose to meet at 1:30..but the 3 of us reached at 3:30 and start to make noise..haha!!

and owh yar..im tired to go to orchard or esplanade..bored with the fireworks..same shit each year..haha..but went to east coast and have fun there..thanks guys for making it happening..and something happen to me at night there...

and oh oh!!!happy belated bdae uh ayu and adila!!haha..sorry if i kinda blurr with ur names..i cant remember much...lol!!heee!!
have fun and everything there...too bad..i was hoping to meet her...really!!sumpah!!i really wana be with someone to watch the flare with me..its friggin awesome lah siot!!im happier looking at the flare than fireworks..but then, something weird..its ironic how she came to my mind at the first sight of the flare..

watched the flare till the end...but then kan kan!!i almost forget..me and shahrin nearly got into a fight with a group of bangla's..the reason..owh..its simple..the bangla's are drunk and fiqah n wafah are with us both..responsibility lah kate kan since anak org siot..
this friggin bangla's just shout "happy new year!!!" and went to grind with some indian girls..ceeppekkk!!made me angry for no reason..ok..done..
owh..wana see pics??check fb can??malas lah nak upload sini..sorry...haha...

and also..im hoping that next year,ill get to see fireworks with the one im in love with..hopefully..insyallah!!!haha..dont be jealous kae to some people..u duno who the person is anyway..im not going to say who but it'll be a guessing game..

ill write about some details of the girl each day..then just guess who u are aite...:)
and im not flirting...seriously...im a good guy for this year...:)
ok im done...toodles!!!

2009-12-29T23:33:00.002+08:00

tak ingin bercinta lagi
kerana sudah tertutup pintu hati
mungkin kerana terlalu sedih
kenangan pahit yg pernah terjadi

oh kini bila
aku sendiri
kau datang menghampiriku lagi
kerana tidak aku percaya
ku bagaikan bermimpi

kehadiranmu saat disisiku
entah kenapa aku tertunggu-tunggu
masa-masa untuk kita bersama
menuju waktu yang bahgia

jika suatu hari nanti
kau bukan menjadi miliku
namun aku kan merelakan
asalkan engkau bahagia

secebis kasihku padamu
sedetik waktu berlalu
akan tersemar dihatiku
sehingga akhir hayatku

2009-12-29T23:02:00.002+08:00

gosh!!finally im home after work..im friggin tired like faris...XD
and now shahrin is working at 7eleven near my house..wee..lemme see..nak mit ke tknk ehk??hmmm..

nvm..and i wrote in my pm.."behind blue eyes" :)
theres a reason for it..:)
just wait and see..

today i manage to bought new "capal"!!lol!!
and i have to go to the gym badly..im getting smaller and smaller..
haha..

and yar..im glad u have found my replacement..its time for me to move on..
no more getting numbers from girls..no more entertaining them..
im too tired..honestly..ill just entertain my friends..im better off alone..
its irritating to think that it can still be the same when it's not even half close...
yes im a sore loser..but so what..ill choose my life and u choose urs..
im still thinking of deleting my blog..any objections??

on thurs, ill be meeting maxi grey and misty grey eyes..and my ex classmates..tk tau lah korang nak gi vivo ke outing ape..aku dtg aje k..:)

and lastly, im tired of people saying.."if u cannot accept me at my worse..than u dont deserve me at my best.."...yar right..im too tired to entertain people like this..honestly..it'll just piss me of easier..whoever u are..pls dont do that aite..maybe sometimes but not all the time..i cannot have anymore patience..like ive said, ill just explode with anger someday..so pls dont make it worse aite..try and understand k..thankiu..:)

kla..im done..i need to slp...goodnight...

*i'll be happy for u..forget about me aite..it's not worth it...*

2009-12-28T14:45:00.002+08:00

while waiting for mr hujan to siap siap pakai makeup seme, i decided to blog..lol!!goshh!!!im tired..sleepy like mad sia..cipek betol..but never mind..i have to prepare for 31st dec..going out with my ex classmates!!woot!!tgk movie??shopping??haha..lol..i duno..lets just see how things go..

owh yar..im stuck with the decals for my bike for awhile..im busy lah..tmrw working at suntec from 8am to 12midnight..den on wed ill send my bike for decals or maybe just spray the rims..im unsure when will i be getting it back..hopefully in two days time when i leave it at the shop..pls pls!!haha..

and and..i have another surprise..haha..only me,shahrin,usop,akmal and nisa noes it..wee!!!

owh i just got to noe..nisa can see things and she was terrified yest when she looked at me..haa..

belakang aku ade hantu lah sia!!!arghh!!lol!!kidding..i duno..haha..but never mind..

and thankiu for the bracelet *to you..you know who u are...:)*

its suppose to be *zack/zainuddin* not *alpinestar*...haha!!thanks anyway..

and owh..everyone is busy with their own stuffs..mum,dad,sis and both my brothers..

mum's sick..dad is busy working..sis and 1st bro is sick too..and 2nd bro is always working..

hmm..im all alone again..sobx..

and mum likes to ask me..

mum : eh zainuddin, din carik pompan yg umor die berape??nak kawin umor berape??

me : emm..sekarang tak tau..17 to 19 agaknyer??kahwin ehk..emm enta ehk..tk tau lak..org habes nitec umor 20..den sambong higher nitec habis umor 22..den nak sambong poly habes umor 25..masok ns habes umor 27/28..tkde time nak kawin lah gini...tgk lah..maybe by 27 or 28 dah kawin agaknye..2 pon kalau bakal menantu mak sangggop nak tunggu org..haha..

haha..i wonder..will she be willing to wait for me when i serve for ns??will she stand by me when i need someone??so far i found none..the only people i find now is the ones who loves to think of the different things about me/wrong assumptions..owh well..ill just wait and see how..

kla..gtg..mr hujan is otw to michael..im going now..toodles!!ill not be onlining tonight and tmrw..so dun bother reading my blog aite..maybe tonight i maybe..tmrw hell no..

ok done..toodles!!

2009-12-27T03:39:00.002+08:00

weee..home!!somehow, i love coming home late nowadays..nie lah..tkde control..haha..
and and..today was fun fun fun!!!
saw her and her bestie..*heartache*
kejap jek...thought who lahh..
bestie i dun mind..others maybe..haa..

anyway,skip this part..hang out under void deck..went to shahrin's workplace..
tkpelah rain..tkmo sad sad..kau dah pegi tmpt keje aku..kite leh lepak same same malam malam..senang siket nak jumpe..kau aku n usop..haha...

owh btw..i need to confess something..all this while im not running from girls...just avoiding some..:)
lol!!makes no difference...
im not flirting..not meeting and not doing anything..
just being friends..for now..im unsure what i desire for..let's just say for now, ill just look around and pretend nothing happen and observe..i cant decide u noe..i dont go around going out with girls when im bored or having free time..

all i can say is..whatever it is..ill be a friend to everyone..guys and girls..i dun want to play around with hearts..but i can promise one thing, if i ever fall for someone, do trust that ill not entertain other girls except my bestie and my classmates and sch mates..no more getting to know other people aite..pinky promise??
once i have a gf,say bye bye to tagged and maybe facebook..but not msn..i need to contact my frens thru here..just to be honest, do trust me before being with me aite..ill not use u or play around with ur feelings..i used to but not anymore..
ill be good..whether u trust me or not its up to u..

eyh eyh..bile nak dapat bracelet nie?!?!?!!?
and owh yar..pls do tell me that u have some feelings for me??pls do..i can go crazy sia if u hide anything...haixx...

and and..ill be working on tues..from 8am to 12midnight..meet me anyone??haha..lame tk keje pat suntec..and on monday,ill be spraying my rim black..and on wed..full transformation of my bike..weee!!finally!!its going to be green and black..STRIKING urh!!someone said so..XD

im not into red and black..ill look like one fucktard matrep..confirms...i have the looks of a matrep even though im not..support me anyone??confirm tkde yg support..haha..kla..
nk chat ngan bdk macdelivery ngan bdk 7eleven...toodles!!!

owh owh...someone asked what is the meaning of :
"KAJJIMOTHAL NAE SARANG APHEDO NAN USEULLAEYO"

i wrote that in my pm...it means..
"even if i cannot receive the love, i will still smile" :)

2009-12-26T00:04:00.002+08:00

im home from work...weee!!!
and omg omg!!how come everyone's been telling me to put the name's of the one i mention in the blog??hell no!!i wont..ill just let people think dat its them aite dat is if they think that they are at wrong...like ive said..humans live with the wrong assumptions..

but whatever it is..for the post that i wrote about the assumptions thing doesnt include my frens or my past aite..dont get me wrong..dont assume k..cheers!!

ill be frank..there is this girl who thinks dat she is popular when she is not..she have the looks and everything but the only thing is, she didnt know how to differentiate what is right and what is wrong..sometimes,i think that its not the stupid one's who are stupid..its the clever one's that are actually stupid..a stupid person can learn and make mistakes all they want but still learn from it to be a better person..but some of the clever people who are lucky that they can think makes stupid mistakes and do things that are wrong..get what i mean??

ive met people who are clever but being dumb..sometimes,these stupid people who are being looked down are the one's who have manners and not the clever ones..ive seen them even at my work place..they are actually nice and knowing them is a pleasure even though they might be slow and likes to ask alot..rather than the clever ones who just throw their money, talks loudly and other stuffs..im not interested in saying all this..

look at us..we are given a brain to think..so use it well aite..dont just assume that u are right for everything..:)
and and..all i can say that the one i wrote in the blog previously is someone not close to me..ive just got to know her..no one knows her except me not even bestie..haha..sorry larhhh..
and she is matured enuf to think but she acts as if that life should be enjoyed every second..haha..continue on aite..im not stopping u..
i know u are reading since u just found by blog..so just say anything in the tagbox beside if u think u have anything to say..ill reply..promise!!XD

toodles!!!im having a big day tomorrow!!weee!!

2009-12-25T17:23:00.002+08:00

as far as i can see..you do have some feelings towards me..its just that you didnt want to show it..maybe because of the past..just maybe..im included in it..

2009-12-25T16:25:00.002+08:00

weee...have fun to you kae!!XD

its a sad thing to know that some people live with the wrong assumptions..
but hey, ill let you decide aite what you want to do and choose..
ill just let it slip by..:)

and to that someone..pls pls pls..leave him alone..he is going to be attached to his girl soon..ill not just stand there watching you ruin his soon to be relation..they both loved and cared for each other..ill not let you ruin the dreams of the one whom i protect since im small aite..
i wont let him go thru the same thing as me..you made him cry infront of me thanks to the message you gave to her..but he is your past..just let him go..you just controlled him too much..i dont listening to him saying you contacted his friends..i really dont..but you didnt give him the freedom that he needs..you contacted his friends to ask of his wherebouts and everything..i know you used to be his gf and i understand why you are doing so..but you should have trust him..it's too late to get him now and whatever it is that you are planning to not make them a couple..it wont work..ill be there to make everything work..move on..pls dont make me get angry at you..you are a nice girl but if he is not yours, you should move on and stop putting hopes on him..sorry if im being mean..you are 16/17..im sure you are mature enough to think..
move on aite..

and to you..decide your decisions well aite..dont make the wrong assumptions..i will be back to see you but it's only when you have realise your mistakes that you are doing now and turn over a new leaf..its not about me..its about you all the time..it's been that way since we met..you can think but you are getting worse and going deeper..you just dont know how to make the right choice don't you??

owh well..eh eh..sorry if my english is not that good..english fail uhh..heee!!toodles!!!tamp1!!here i come!!!

2009-12-25T00:49:00.002+08:00

im still up and freshly awake...lol...and im bored..ill update abit aite..
boo..mum and dad n sis r going malaysia for kenduri..ill be alone at home..after work..
maybe ill just go out without going home...hangout or something??meet me anyone??hmm..

haha..i have a new job!!wee!!at tmone..lol!!hehe..find me if u can aite..but ill still b at my old workplace..hehe..wait until the right time comes den ill change job..
anyway, what the hell im doing now??im being diff right??
datz what im doing now..im letting things go..forgetting my past and start afresh..
i want to understand people..be there when they need me..ill be better..insyallah..
ill forgive and forget..thanks dyaa..
i forget that im in no position to not to forgive anyone dat i want..
but still, ill forgive them aite..ill forget everything and start afresh..

ill try and be good..stop smoking and everything..help me out anyone??i cant do it alone for now..
emm..yar, im at my lowest now but so what..i dont care..ill be fine with frens around..
ill change...whether u like it or not, ill not listen to what u say..ill just be myself..

and hey hey..2 dat someone..next time, if u dream of me kan kan...do tell me the details of the story..u dreamt of me twice..haha!!ade meaning tuuu...lolx....

and to someone..sorry if im being mean towards u today..ur at ur lowest and im at mine..if i did anything wrong pls do bear with me about it aite..ill be better..

and to another someone..forgive me if im the cause of u breaking up with ur bf..maybe the fault is mine..ill put all the blame on me n not u..dont be afraid to fall in love again aite..be brave and stay strong..not every guy thinks alike..ive been hurting u all this while..ill plead for the last time to forgive me..ill not say it anymore..ill forget about what uve said,scold or say anything about me..ill accept everything..ill be a friend to u and everyone..for the rest, u'll decide aite..
ill not say anything anymore..thanks for everything..

and to bestie..haha!!u really do keep track of me dont u??sorry yar..i dont want to disturb u..i noe u have probs on ur own..i dont wish to trouble anyone..u know myself better den anyone..i dont share probz..i keep them within myself..datz all i could do..im feeling empty each time and im sure u know why..but ill just skip and forget everything bestie..thankiu for keeping track of what is happening to me but dont have to worry anymore aite..ill be fine..sorry if i neglect u all this while..ill be better..aha!!!cheers!!!wee!!

and to the rest..im unsure who..but if i ever hurt u people in the process, do forgive me for my mistake aite..haha..i noe its not hari raye but still, ill apologize for everything aite..haha..and rain..dah maken insaf kau ehk..thanks uh for the link..

kla..im done..i cant wait for the 28th..haha..toodleS!!!

2009-12-22T05:19:00.002+08:00

just got back home from meeting siddiq,shahrin and akmal...but before that it was akmal and his girl..
we were suppose to talk about something but thanks to me asking a qn..it made me sad for no reason..
owh btw..sorry for not blogging much...
about this morning..somehow,akmal's gf understands what im going thru..ya..ur right..im not being myself..im not smiling like how i used to but by my fake smile it helps to make others happy even though ur pissed off by it..im sorry but i cant help it..i dont want to see akmal is sasd because of my situation..im his bestest cousin remember??:)
ill protect him with my life if i have to risk mine..

what i told them is about her...i have nothing much to say..yes..someone did mention dat i have to stop kissing her and irritate her..i clearly understand that..
i have to love her for what she is..im leaving myself to god..im not being myself towards my other friends..im sorry guys for making u all think that i have changed..
im trying my best to make everyone happy..i really am..but try and understand me aite..
im hiding to much already..i have no one to talk to about my probs anymore..
im stuck in a corner..i really do..

maybe its my fault that things got worse btwn us..n i clearly admit dat im sorry..
i cant be perfect..im short/hot tempered..u must understand me for it..
i cant post much for now cause my mind is full of probs..it just feels so empty..
i noe u people want me to move on..while akmal n his girl and some others told me not to give...
im stuck in between people..im confused..tired..i dont sleep at night anymore..ill only sleep in the day..ill feel lonely at night..

im sorry bestie..i wish u can understand what im going thru..i just wished..im at my lowest and i have no one to talk to..i really dont..yes..im weak..im bloody weak..weak because of her..
i dont have the strength to move on..
i feel like wanting to go for it but im stuck...
haix..ill post later when im a lil fine aite..
toodles...

2009-12-20T00:47:00.002+08:00

currently...im chatting and fb-ing...im blurrrr...i duno what colour to choose for my bike...
ideas anyone???its either green /black or red/black..help me!!arghhh!!haaa!!!

i'll be losing my bike for 3days..lol!!naek bus lah nie nampak nyer...eh hell no...jalan kaki..haha!!
and i didnt know that so many people cared about me...:D
thankyou people..sayang korang many many lah....lol!!!XD

and and..yar..i'll be fine..i'll try not to make u guys/gurls worry about me aite...
for now i'll be norm..i'll change..haha..yunniii!!!kenape tk caye ehk??lol!!i'll be a better person..trust me..:)
ill not make u people worry much about me aite..
hehe..

eh eh...for new years kan,korang tkde plan kaper??*kepade F.T.G's and DSX*
hehek!!korang tau lah korang sape...aku tau korang bace blog aku nie..lol!!ahhaa...
pape uat plan dohhh...kite kua...riding ke??mau pah??

aww..and DD wanted me to sing for her...i have to sing for ayuni..for my dear DD lagi..n some others..*wink wink*
ill try to grant u people ur songs kae..haha!!
but as a fren...lol!!im not into relation for now..
maybe soon but not now...i'll be cheerful for now..hehe...ok..
im off..

and i'll forgive u..i'll bear no grudge..i'll forget about it..
do what u want aite..i'll be happy for u..
there is nothing more for me to say since u chose that path..
do take care k??:)
toodles!!!

2009-12-19T00:34:00.003+08:00

ok this is really important...firstly...i really really want to apologize to u..sorry about yest aite...
i didnt know u didnt slp yest because of what happened..im sorry..i should have understand what u went thru...hmm..dont hide anything from me lah silly...grrr!!!minahrep uh u..perangai tembam sia...cheerup!!:)

ok..that's all thats important...haha...and yar bestie..dont worry aite...ill be fine..trust me..
u just keep ur relation going aite...ill pray hard for u that u'll last with him!!!
about me??emm..maybe ill just skip my part of getting into relations..nahh..im not saying all girls are the same..guys will be guys and girls will be girls..no ones the same n people change...
rite bestie???ill be fine..der is nothing to worry about...:)

eh bestie!!look at my bike on the 2nd jan aite..ill show it to u!!ill be happy enuf to show it to u..haha...do take care aite bestie!!i love u lahhh!!!XD
i got nothing to post about for today...ill past posting about today...
working in the morning..haha!!have fun yar people..toodleS!!

2009-12-18T02:18:00.002+08:00

promises are meant to be kept by those who are true to their words..mum told me that..
and im keeping that promise no matter what..
and a player can never remain a player..
like they say "people do change"
remember??
if u are sticking to that phrase, why saying a player will always be a player?

sometimes, what ever u said doesnt make sense..im not trying to quarrel with u..but im just confuse..any ans??
what u are outside defines u in the inside??
we quarrelled about this too right??
do we have to quarrell just bcoz i txted ur frens??
do i really have to be dat perfect??

im confused..im having no idea at all for now..it all doesnt make sense..people change..and im keeping my promises all this while..never broke one..and u didnt noticed it??how come??
nvm..ill leave everything for now..i dont want to quarrell with u..im too tired quarrelling my dear..i really do..everytime u said goodbye, it irks me alot..
only i know why..i hate it..i hate everytime u said goodbye..ur like the most important person..i repeat..THE MOST...u just dont understand..im tired to think for now..

all that i can say is, im trying hard to be diff..i really do but u just didnt see it coming..ill be happy for u..the one whom i used to call "tiffania"..do take care..ill be back when HE have help u to open up ur eyes..ill be back..stay happy..

2009-12-18T00:16:00.002+08:00

sorry people for not updating for awhile...i have some problems that needs to be settled..
one..i cannot understand why when im trying to be nice,people just took it for granted??
can tell me why??i wana be good..i want to be the best amongst everyone's frens..but how come some of u dun appreciate me?im happy to most that u people are getting close to me..both guys and girls..but why is it that when its "you" who gets to know me and came to me just to tell me about your probs just put the blame on me??i know the story..the reason why u fought with ur bf and the reason u chose to leave him and find another..u hide it but in the end i got to know about it..

and how come u told ur bf that it was me who wanted u??it was me who txted u each night??
who started txting when she/he feels alone n needed someone to talk to??i was there to accompany u..listen to u bitching about him..listening to u saying "all guys are the same"..
i hate it when u said those phrases..i hate it when girls say those words..im the one who stayed awake entertaining u..listening silently and hear everything dat u have done to guys before..i think u are much worse than some guys out there..u are 18 and u acted like some 15 year old..
i dont get u..and now,ur bf is aiming me..

and do tell ur bf aite..if want to talk,can we not talk about him asking his frens all to come just to talk to me alone??is it possible??what kind of matrep brings his frens just to talk to one person??i repeat..ONE...sheeshhh..and ur bf is like 24 years old??he dont deserved to be called a matrep if he said that way..ill be waiting for the day where ur bf meet me aite..:)
we can talk all day long..and for ur info..i have ur BESTFREN standing by me who knows the full story about u and what u bitched about ur guy..settle??whatever the choices are..ill be happy for u..:)

skip part one..now goes to part 2..
sorry lah kawan kawan kalau sayer tak update blog ehk...sayer ade reason sayer sendiri..XD
on the 15dec..i manage to skid myself on the road when its raining..tsk..tk serik serik nie anak tau..lol!!:)
emm..and today..i worked split shift..in the morning had fun with wahidah at work..talking crap about guys and girls..shouting like mad and singing..and ohh ohh,,i sang with wahidah her fav song..lol!!lagu ape tahh..haha..
then at night...someone passedby..honestly,im stoned for a couple of minutes when i saw her..i didnt xpect her to passby..her fren at the same time passedby in the morning while she at night..
her fren smiled at me i think??:)
but she didnt..
yar..i understand..to tell the truth, im happy to get to see her..i missed her..and i missed everything about her..but then, bcause of some reasons, im unable to tell her..im happy that she passed by..seeing that she's doing well even though she didnt look at me..ill be happy for her but only deep inside i know that im trying my best to be someone else..someone diff..

i have to pretend dat im fine so that my full timers dont worry much about me..like ive said..im stoned for a while when she passed..usually,i can feel that she is coming but not anymore..how come??i dun have the ans..only god knows..right??

im talking too much sia..haha..nvm...and anyway..yuni wanted to see the video of me singing but im unsure of posting it or not..i already have it recorded and only left to post..haha..
tgk lah mcm mane kae...lol!!suare kalau mcm apit takpe...lol!!
and shasha!!dah d.i.u.p.d.a.t.e...haa!!make sure bace k...ur blog needs to be update to u noe..haha..

on the 30 or 31st dec..anyone want to accompany me to take back my bike??preety pls??i send it for decal-ation..its confirmed to be red and black..i wanted her to accompany me..i really do..but things are different..as in much different..i have no one to show it to..usually im happy to make her the first to see everything..hmm..nvm..ill just park it for display purposes..XD
ok done..ill see if i have anything left to update..:)
for now,im fb-ing..toodles!!

2009-12-14T02:50:00.004+08:00

Erieyza

just got back home..damn tired to the maxxx..ive got lots to post about today n yest...

about yest...

at about 1030 am..i have to accompany my family to tampines and attend my brother's fren wedding..uhhh...it was abg farid's wedding..uhh..i missed him sia..lol!!too bad i didn't get to see who his wife looks like since my family chose to go to tamp mall to apply for my sis's phone line...=.=

its been a while i didn't meet anyone who is a friend of my brother..hmm..nvm..i do notice that his cousins tried to sneak peak on me..or maybe its just my imagination cause 3 people were standing close to me waiting for my food to finish..hmm..nvm,ill just skip this part too..

then headed down to tamp mall..and the weird thing everyone wanted to change phone..=.=

since they applied for singtel and mio into our home..lol...and know what,i've got another phone for free..haha!!sony ericsson phone..sorry if i spell the name wrongly..haha..never used the phone before..so just took it and now its being used for display..haha..i thought of giving it as a bdae present but emm..

and my bro and sis bought a new phone for themselves..haha..then off to cs and ate there..for the first time,mum and dad felt happy that we got to hangout with each other and joked around..talk about everyone's boyfriend and girlfriend..and want to know something..mum and dad and everyone ask/tell me...

mum : deen, deen pelik tak??adik beradik semua ade link sesame sendiri??

deen(bro 2nd) : pelik??

dad : *smile*

sis : yela..abg man(1st bro) nye mataer name Siti Farhanah..Abg deen(2nd bro) nye name Siti Faritha..nurul punye name SoFwad..kite tige tige ade S dengan huruf F dekat dalam..cume zainuddin aje yang tkde..so zainuddin kalau nak ade mataer, kene carik yang ade S dengan F dekat dalam jadi complete keluarge kite..NYAHAHAHHAA!!!

me : ape pulak??

mum : adek awak kan ade..name die ShaFiqah..ke ade yang lain???

dad : ape nak jadi..miang anak aku..

me : =.='

sis : awak dengan ShaFiqah macam mane??ok??

me : alhamdullilah kite ok..

then the whole family went silent...abg deen : IYELAH TUUUUU...MUKE KAU NAK TIPU NGAN KITE...

so jyeahhh..im speechless at that time but manage to change topic..told mum n dad i wana buy hugo boss and levi's jeans..and owh..contact lens..haha..want to try try..lol!!still pending..hmm..

then off home..but went out to work and met this cute lil guy..owh owh..its at the top..see!!!haha..cute kan..but then,his all grown up..and i asked him some questions..the only thing he said was kakak and mama or papa and bye bye..lol!!he kissed my arm..i just love the guy's cuteness..haha!!

and ohh..bibik told me in a loud tone..

bibik : jangan picit bibir mamat..nanti die taknak makan??

ohhh...i didnt know that..lol..but still i keep on pinching..cute siak!!haha..i missed him..sorry anu for the trouble..you and me know about it kan kan!!hehe..secret..

then after work,met shahrin,hafiy,siddiq and wafah..lol!!!played poker and im the top gambler of the day..lol!!beginner's luck..hurhur!!ok nvm..forget it..then now here i am..bloggin and fb-ing..i have another outing tmrw..going to tamp aroungd 2..but before that ill be heading to the gym..hehe..im done..got to sleep..toodles!!

and to YOU if you are reading..

sometimes, you might not know when im trying to cheer you up when you are feeling down..

i might be there when none of your friends are there..

when i say that i'll protect you, i'll mean each and every word i say..

you might be at your lowest now but i'll be there for you..

you said you want to be friends but still why are you being mean??is it because of the past??

if it is..i'm not forcing you to forget him..i just want you to be happy..those stuffs that i bought for you is just to see those smile that i want to see appearing from your looks..

sometime, you might just not know that when someone cares for you, he is willing enough to sacrifice his happiness just for you..

but you just can't possibly notice it and treat him differently when you have found the right one..

if that is what you call the fact of life..then i'll be happy for you..

seeing you happy makes me happy enough to know that you already achieve what you longed for..even if i have to sacrifice my own to make that dream of yours to be true..

2009-12-11T23:23:00.002+08:00

i officially declare i hate some taxi drivers..about today..after sch,i chose to buy a new helmet for myself but i nearly get caught in an accident..obviously,because of a taxi driver..like i've said..even when you drive carefully,there are people who will surely get yourself into accident even if it's not your fault..hmm..so anyone with a bike,do avoid taxi's aite...ill avoid taxi's too from now on..grrr!!!

continue on with story..bought a helmet and went for prayers..:)
good boy lah katekan...lol!!forget it...after prayers,hang out under the void deck and off to bendemeer..hehe..for a little purpose..actually i want to change the color of my bike..its going to be red and black with the "ME" logo..only to some people know what "ME" stands for..and maybe ill add "ASTAR" to it..:)

hopefully it'll turn out great..hmm..insyallah...:)
but who am i suppose to show first other than my family??i have no one to show that is important to me now..hmm..used to be excited whenever i change something about my bike..but now i feel nothing since i have no one to show it to other than my friends..hmm..skip this part..
ill be changing the color on the 28th..care to come anyone?hehe..

and owh..i saw this lil dude who is about 1 year old i think..he have this two little cute grey coloured eyes..cool!!!haha..it's impossible to say that he's wearing contact lens right??haha..
and i want to change work to macd delivery or kfc delivery..if it is destined that you ordered your food and im the one who will be sending it..Ill be happy sia...XD

im not changing now...but next year..ill make it a new year's wish..there are 4 things that i want next year..have a new coloured bike/new bike,be a better guy*you'll see*,change job and find someone who can understands me..insyallah..:)
ill pray hard...im done..chatting and checking fb now..working in the morning now..
and ohh..i missed being accompanied by my neighbour to the sheng siong..lolx..
im off now..toodles...

*when the time comes,i'll return..until than,ill remain silent..*

2009-12-11T08:27:00.002+08:00

good morning singapore!!lol!!ok im lame..hurhur!!
emm..currently im in school right now..and there is only 4 people in the class..3 students and 1 teacher..and the rest chose not to come..=.='

sheeshhh...see yuni..told you im a good student..:)
maseh tak caye lagi..
for now i have to submit j2me module 6..haha..when im done ill try and check if i can go home after this..:)

im tired plus sleepy..haha..ok..ill continue blogging tonight..hopefully..toodles!!

2009-12-10T23:00:00.003+08:00

ok fine..maybe i should blog a little..i have nothing to say much for today...sch as per usual..
bored sia less friends in sch since the holidays started..miss my gym friends..brothers and those hangout moments..somehow i wished i can stop working to spend more time with them..how come because of work i have lesser time with them..things arent like usual..

now its becoming much more boring...work work work..can i change work??macd delivery or kfc delivery??haha..its much more worth it then staying there...owh..about yest...forget about it aite..maybe im not being myself...but guess what, ill try and be back to my usual self..insyallah..
ill be better..ill be mature..ill be everything that everyone will see in me..ill be good..maybe even the best of the best..ill pray hard for it..ill understand everyone much more better than ever..

only time will tell when ill be able to be this guy that i want..all i can say is..im throwing my old self away..i want to be someone new..someone who can make everyone happy..will it be fulfill??i dont have the ans..all i can do is pray..i want everyone to like me..not hate me..ill be the best amongst guys..ill be...someday...:)

and i havent been able to sleep properly this few days..im getting tired each day..haha..never mind...thanks yar shasha for cheering me up yest..dont worry..i dont vent my anger anyhow..
im the nicest remember??haha..ok im done..guess ill be up for tonight..:)
toodles!!!

2009-12-10T21:09:00.002+08:00

ill blog tomorrow kay..for today i have nothing to blog..actually there is but im lazy to blog..hehe...toodles!!

2009-12-09T23:55:00.003+08:00

i wonder..is it my fault for everything??how come im always at fault??isnt it you who wanted me to be just a friend??is it my fault for befriending other people(girls) and have no intention of getting in love with them when you only wanted me to be just a friend??how come the fault is at mine??how come??you are confusing me..

remember the time you told me that me and you are impossible to be together..so i chose to be single and get back on track with my friends and only friends and suddenly,this irk feeling of your's popped up out of no where..it gave me hope into thinking that you have some feelings for me but to thick back again why would you when you only want me to be your bestfriend??is it my fault??how come?i promised that i love you and no one else but you doubt so..and when i tried to prove,you ignored and search for others..how come the fault is mine still??

you told me it irks you when you see me with other girls but honestly,i have no intention or have any feelings for them..why wont you trust me??i always thought that you have some feelings for me since you felt jealous when either you or your friends spot me with someone..and i tried to stay away from my girlfriends but still you think differently about me..i need to know my weakness..i need to know what's in your mind..spill it out will you??its driving me insane..how am i suppose to be able to understand you when you didnt understand me??

we both dont understand each other..is it possible to have heart to heart talk??i dont want to make you feel bad but honestly, even my friends dont understand when you said you wanted us to be friends but you felt jealous when i went out with a girl..i know i made a promise and ill keep my promise..but will you??the qn is..will you??

2009-12-09T00:39:00.002+08:00

HAPPY BIRTHDAY SHAHADAH!!!
WAHHH!!DAH 19 SEY BUDAK 2..ARU NAK JEJAK 19 PER!!!HUAHUA!!!HAVE A FUN DAY TODAY AITE...MAKE SURE KAU JAGE DIRI BAEK BAEK AND WISH KAU ALL THE BEST IN THE FUTURE KAE..AND LAST LONG NGAN MATAER SUPER 4 KAU 2..CAKAP NGAN DIA,ABANG GSX COMING SOON..XD

WHEN YOU FALL, LEARN HOW TO GET BACK UP ON YOUR OWN..IT'S THE ONLY WAY TO MAKE YOURSELF STRONGER WITHOUT ANYONE'S HELP..NEVER GIVE UP HOPE BECAUSE THERE IS ALWAYS HOPE UNLESS YOU DON'T GIVE IN EASILY...
WHEN YOU FALL IN LOVE, BE PREPARED FOR THE WORST..PATIENCE IS EVERYTHING..SHARE EVERYTHING WITH HIM/HER..DON'T EVER HIDE ANYTHING..
LOVE HER/HIM AS MUCH AS POSSIBLE..CRAWL TILL YOU LEARN HOW TO WALK, THEN YOU RUN UNTIL YOU ARE STRONG ENOUGH TO JUMP, THEN DREAM TO FLY UNTIL THERE IS NO END, SO CRAWL BACK UP TO LOVE WHEN YOU FALL AND NEVER GIVE UP TO GET BACK UP AND FALL IN LOVE AGAIN..

2009-12-08T22:14:00.002+08:00

just got back home and sister's face pop up out of no where behind the door..lol..she misses me..haha!!i miss her too..lol!!dont be shock if anyone of you see me with a lady wearing tudong at my back on the bike..cause most probably it would be my sis...XD
and oh oh!!calling all paint bikers!!i need help to paint my bike red and white lining..or maybe black lining..sick of green..hmm..

eh eh..she wrote something on her pm.."handsomenye pompan 2"...wonder who she/he is??
cause probably that someone didnt know how i look like right now..:)
im dont have my old hair anymore..the one you people said i look preety/handsome with the hair..and some of you even called me preetyboy..=_='
haha..

most of you might not have seen me yet but ive cut my hair..lol!!!
emm..just wait till i update my facebook aite..than you may say what you want..:)
and and..i copied someone's quote..its meaningful..honestly..i understand fully what it means..

here it goes...

Love is something that is not generated overnight. At the same time, some people no matter how much goodness you do, will take the goodness for granted and give you evil in return and will never recognize what you do for them. Once you see this, you should know that they are blocked by Allah swt because of this sickness. ..in their hearts and there is nothing you can do about it..

i fully understand what she wrote..thanks..appreciate it for giving me the chance to copy this quote..:)

anyway,im chatting now..and want to do my project...update tomorrow..and sister wants to look at DD..maybe she's interested in her..maybe...:)

she's irritating me..haha..tkpelah..its good to have my full family members all again..im happy to have them..i finally realize that i need them the most and no one else..im being stupid all this while to neglect them..im sorry..ill be a better person..insyallah..:)

2009-12-08T13:40:00.002+08:00

i'm sleepyyy...=_='
that's all i can say..woke up at 5am today..bathe and pray..*ehem ehem*
as soon as im done praying,went out with family to fetch sister at the airport..
the good thing is that i can sleep in the car but the bad thing is that we have no idea whether her flight have already landed..lol!!waited for her to appear for about 30+ minutes plus..she didnt have money to call us..lol..pity her..
but still everyone's happy to found her at terminal 3's macd..she cried..lol!!missed us i guess..
she talked alot..as in so much that she cant keep her mouth shut..=_='
than we ate and went home..im schooling and they planned to pay a visit to "pusara abadi"..
sorry grandma i cannot be there to look at you but i can only offer you prayers..you are always in my mind..

mum said after going there,they will be going to johor..to get both of my brother's..eemmm..i dont know what they call it in english but all i can say is "barang untok kahwin"..XD
hmm..boo..its not going to be as "kecoh" as it used to be when both my brother's gets married in march..do come aite all of you people..i'll invite you people..seriously..:)
since mum asked me to..lol!!

im in school now..good grief..im all alone at home from 830am till 1pm..the thing about me is that i hate places that are silent..its not that im scared or anything..but when it is silent,i will think alot..friends use to say that it's good when im noisy because its fun and can be irritating sometimes..but when im silent it means 2 things..it might be that im thinking or angry..i dont go around talking or get mad at others when im angry..ill just be silent if i am..:)
tak nak sakit kan hati orang lah katekan..hee!!goodboy mahh..

and owh yar..my name is being spread from bedok to macpherson to tampines..lol!!who knows maybe one day ill be famous..*you know what i mean right??ehem ehem* XD
and now it's going to yishun..thanks to someone..haha!!
im done..ill blog again tonight..and owh owh..i'll be posting 2 or 1 posts each day..school holidays are coming..lol!!:)
im working..maybe ill apply for 2 jobs during the holidays..:)
i have many outing for this months..mostly with friends..good!!spend time with my long lost friends...:)

and i miss DD..XD
but does DD know??i wonder...

2009-12-07T23:07:00.002+08:00

and owh yar!!!i almost forgot..i have to wake up at 5am later..must fetch my sister at airport..grr!!haha..nvm..mum and dad missed her..and ill do anything to see mum's and dad's smile looking at her..i love my family..it would be much much more complete with both my brother's gf,sister's bf and mine(not yet..still have a long way to go..*patience is everything*)..

i used to wished to have everyone out together some day but guess im the only one spoiling it..hmm..sedehh..lol!!nvm..ill be strong and have faith..:)
if this is a test from god,ill accept it with heads held up high!!!insyallah...:)
im done..but not sleeping..hehe!!toodles!!

2009-12-07T22:43:00.002+08:00

im back from work..lol..firstly i want to apologize..maybe im not being understanding enough that we quarrelled with each other or maybe its the other side's fault..but still i think we should blame each other for it since both make mistakes..i sorry that i cannot be that perfect but all i can is that i will try to aite..i cannot promise anything cause ill be leaving all of you next year but if we were to meet,ill change everthing what have happened between us..ill try to..

and ohh!!my long lost friend's sister called me abang for no reason at my work place and i have this eerie feeling running down my neck..because she is older that me by how many years and she called me abang..lol!!do i look that old??sobx..haix..haha..but still she made my day cause i cant stop smiling at work..haha..

skip this part..continue on with my story...I HATE PEOPLE WHO DONT KNOW HOW TO LEASH THEIR FRIGGIN DOG!!grr!!i understand that the dog want to play around since it came and wad its tail but then i cannot touch it..i want to play with it honestly because it's cute but then i cannot hold it..hhaa..the owner laugh at me when i tried to avoid the dog..maybe they think im afraid of their dog..haha..lol!!

and owh yar..one last thing,why are you acting different??is it making you happy??as far as i can see..you are not..stop acting ok??if you think what you are doing is right and makes you happy than i wont bother you..sheesshhh..haha..ill be waiting for this sat!!kawan kawan!!jumpe saturday malam!!!kite lepak dokkk!!!XD
ok done..toodles!!want to play LFD..hee!!

2009-12-07T09:22:00.002+08:00

goodmorning!!!haha..im at school..ok sumpah im bored to the maxxxx..
most of my friends haven't come into class..chet!!so much of "class start at 9"..
haha!!this is the advantage of having a bike..come early to class but no one is in the class..=_='
grrr!!!ok fine..whatever...

im hungry..sobx..oh oh..dont mind about the name in fb..i have to write my name as a pig due to a game..lol!!comment all you people want ok...:)
till i change the name back again..

haha..thanks eh korang for uploading my pic in your blog..(+_+)
it was just for fun ok..haha..still waiting for my friends to come..sheesshhhh...
ill come late the next time..ill make sure of it..
owh yar...someone in class ask me to talk to the guy she loves because i threatened the guy and the guy got angry with her..

ohh..dont worry..i wont help her..im not being mean but the reason i dont want to help her is because,that guy ask her to meet up and do ***..its good enough that i threatend that guy to protect her but she cannot see what im trying to do..haha..nvm..let her be..ill just ignore her..
wokey..i have alot to post about but then i have to do my class assignment..ill update tonight ok..lol!!!:)

toodles!!

owh yar..wonder what to wear on the 15th..Xp

2009-12-06T22:34:00.002+08:00

just got back from work..tired sia..but im more sleepy than tired for a simple reason..
didnt have enough sleep..ohh well..i should be resting for tonight..but i guess i have to hold on for a while..i want to chat with my friends..lol!!

eh eh..im on good terms with my full timer at work but im not too sure if i can forget about it..
ill try to aite..guess she fought with her own brother because of me..her brother must have said something bad about her..im not being mean but her brother is the only one who can knock some sense to her on how to grow up..ill just let things be..im not interested in quarrelling and other stuffs that can make me angry...

and owh yar..my brother got caught by traffic police while he was on his way to work..
the reason???owh..the tp stopped my brother because he didnt switch on his headlight while riding..
the funny thing is,WHO THE HELL WOULD USE A HEADLIGHT IN BROAD DAYLIGHT??
singapore's law is getting lamer each year...haix..he was fined $30..the bad thing is that,that guy fined towards my bike...grr!!!bloody hell..but never mind...i dont get it...why must road users on their headlights in broad daylight??hmmm...is there a very good reason??
maybe there is not enough sunlight in the morning..thats why they told people to turn on their headlights in the day..so that the road users would be able to have a better view in the day with the headlights switched on..lol!!!waste my battery...haha...

anyway,wonder which school will i be posted to???ite simei or tamp??i want to be in simei but at the same time most of my friends are located at ite tamp..hmm..but maybe ill take up poly..it depends..see how..lol!!:)
and ohh..friends are getting angry because i replied late since im updating and not entertaining them..without them knowing about it..hehe!!
ill update again soon..lol!!toodleS!!

2009-12-06T02:25:00.003+08:00

haix..fuck!!im in a mess..sheesshhh...
pls..i need to go somewhere..i need to friggin burst out everything of what i had in mind..
i dont have anytime to think of what to do...
im stuck in one corner to decide...
im not moving on...
ill stay...
ill hurt myself if i have to just for the sake of her happiness..
is this what they called love??
cause its freaking killing me...
i dont want to be forced to change to the old me..
i want to be loved and liked by everyone..
especially her..
what have i got to do to make her believe??
do i lack of anything???
i need some space but there arent any...
i still do love her even though she changed so much...
why is this happening??been keeping this in my mind all this while n i have to say it today..
i need warmth but there arent any..
is there a way??
i chose not to give up..i cant answer why because i dont have the answer..
i'm not being myself and love cannot be forced..
i clearly know about it but still it is something that can be proved and changed..
i'm tired..dead tired..
ive tried over and over again..if only she understands dat she is important dat im willing to risk everything..if only she understands..haix..

2009-12-06T01:59:00.002+08:00

just got back home..lol..yeahh..lol..
hangout with hafiy,rain,diq and wafah..owh..sorie about the name in fb..changed it to pig because of a game..cheebye..the game is called "babi"..
ill teach u guys when i meet aite..thanks for the fun aand whole lots of laughter..hahak!!

ill be off on the 15 because of someone..and ohh..work is killing me..i need to change work..hee!!anyway,somehow the distance is getting further apart..but i'll leave it to god to handle aite..i have no more ideas on how i can change everything..i mean everything..
for now..im too tired to think..minds in a mess and getting messier..have to many things to do but im cool with everything..till the time comes,ill just be quiet and not talk..

ill not be slping but rather think more than i sleep..i missed the past..i really missed them..i missed everything but still,im suppose to be the type of person who is not easy to give up..but now i have no ideas on how to continue..pls..dont think diffly about me..i definitely hate people saying that all guys are the same and talk behind my back..
i can forgive and forget if u ever say any bad stuff infront of me but ill hate u more and more if u were to talk behind me..so if u have anything to say,just talk to me face to face aite..
ill end here...

*missing the one whom i used to thought as "TIFFANIA"...*

191292

2009-12-05T14:46:00.002+08:00

ohh wow...its been a long time not blogging anymore..actually im lazy to do so..
lol..have a lot of things to post about but ill take it slow aite..so many people asked me to blog..why do u people want to know so much ehk??is there anything that i need to know?
haha..

forget it..anyway,just got home from work and also my hair is shorter than ever...sobx..:'(
decided to cut my hair..tired of girls saying im preetier than them..only some lah..lol!!
owh yar..if you people havent watched new moon...do so aite...it friggin awesome..
jacob reminds me of myself..i watched it with shahrin..and shahrin was asking me while i suddenly kept quiet when bella rejected jacob..i have my reasons..i thought of the past..somehow..haha..nvm..skip this part aite..

eh friends..pls lah..stop answering what you people already know about me..as in the guys..
haha..the irritating question on fb.."what is your first impression of zack?"
ans : fierce!!

lol!!it's the past ok..i know you guys don't like it when im in that mode..it's hard to make me laugh..so just forget about it aite..i'm different now..very much different..haha..there's so many stories about me nowadays..lol!!pls pls pls!!someone tell me why??hhaa..
i really have many post to talk about but ill just let time tell..i have nothing to rush about..
all i can say is that,most people hoped that one day she'll finally realise..even her friends said so..
but guys/girls..just let it go aite..only time will tell..for now..im in offline mode..lol!!

friends are welcome and new friends i'll be nice..trust me...:)

2009-10-29T01:21:00.002+08:00

eh bestie..dont worry about me lah..im gonna be fine..eh eh..one day when we meet,ill bring my guitar along so u can listen to me singing..:)
u never heard of me singing right??haha..ill sing to u soon aite..ill try to compose a song all over again..its been awhile..oowhh yar yar..i need to buy the last string for my guitar..lol!!

ohh ohh..n gym frens asked me what type of girl i liked out of the pink(blue)..lol!!
i was wondering why they asked suddenly and noticed there were this 3 girls in the room looking at me..i told my gym frens that im not interested in getting to know people anymore and like ive said..out of the pink,this girl yelled "alahhh!!!blang uhhh!!rabak per!!plsss!!kite nak tau!!"..
and the another girl went "eh bodoh,diam lah..uat malu aje.."
haha..kinda cute when i got to see this girl blushed..:)

i cant sleep..probably thinking of someone..and bestie,like ive said..dont be afraid aite..ill be fine txting only u when im free..as in now i only txt u who is a girl and not entertaining others..i myself dont know why im doing this..and yar,someone asked for a date and im not free..huhu!!im working..lol..haha..

n yar,frens kept saying that its unfair that i kept silent when i was being blamed for being honest when that person is the one who entertain others..like ive said guys,i 4give and 4get..maybe this is what i deserve..ill let "it" do whatever "it" wants..im not here or there to force or anything right..dah lah,i need to hafal this lyric..then play or tag along with frens..its been a while since i met my frens..n owh sorry if my english is bad..i didnt pass my olvls..:)
ill make myself bigger someday..just wait and see..

*do i look better with long or short hair??*
*is my looks important to you or being honest that is important??*
*even if im honest,would you even trust me??*
*i wonder...*
:)

2009-10-27T00:54:00.004+08:00

i can be different...if you give me the chance...this i promise you...i don't use sweet words to attract but rather show but sometimes it might not work since it's my first time trying hard..but i'll still try if i have too..

and btw,how come each day i'm getting closer and closer into getting myself into an accident??
what did i do??even if i ride safely,it still happens..why??is it a sign like last time??is it possible to change anything??or is it that my time is nearly up??i don't believe in this sort of thing but then i just kept thinking why bad things keep happening..or is it me who is thinking too much??hmm..

even so,would you be there again if i were to get myself into another accident??i really hope so..i want you to accompany me there each day..ya,i'm selfish to think of myself but so what...but still i don't know yet..but when the time comes,im sure ill be in hosp no matter how hard i try to avoid it..i'm riding a bike..it's a fact of life..even if you ride safely,there will be others who drive carelessly..i'm not leaving my life to fate for now because i'm sure i can change something..even if it's something small,it can mean a big thing in the end..i'll end for now..i can never be perfect but i can still try to change something about myself that you dislike..i can never give up easily
I-Caat..a promise is a promise..i'll keep mine..

2009-10-26T01:48:00.001+08:00

thanks for trying to cheer me up..haha..wonder why he send me this thing for and asked to post here...lol..haha...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=44dC-GjFMzc

2009-10-26T00:39:00.002+08:00

im still not moving on..its hard to move on when she takes care of me everyday in the hosp..those tears which i adore the most..those eyes n smiles...for once i thought whether its possible for me to make her happy..i really do..now i understand what type of guy am i..but i guess its too late..maybe i deserved it..

i dont intend to be close to girls just to flirt with them..honestly..i think of her everytime and even now..she used to asked me to move on but when i tried to and went out with other girls,i still think of her..tell me anyone..is there a way to prove that i love her and that she can trust me??is there anyway,even a small possibility is enuf..i just need her and no one else..

im not being myself..im sorry guys for not being up to date whenever u people set a game for soccer n outing..i just dont like it to be there when u guys are wif ur gfs while im with no one..i dont want to think much..n thanks akmal for understanding..last long with her aite..im happy for u..its just dat i cant move on when i made a promise to her..

i already planned to give her a helmet and a necklace..the helmet is actually for her practical lesson cause she would probably enroll for a bike..im sure of it..but then,its a sad thing cause she wont be able to ride together with me..i just want her to be with me..i want her to be mine..i want to be the one who protects her..i want to be the one who last long with her but is it worth it if she doesnt trust me??i just want her to trust and love me..is there anyway where i can change??mum is asking me about her and i have no idea what to say..

used to tell mum that ill be with her someday when the time comes but then things turned out like this..i made her a promise that she will be the first to ride my R1 after im done with ns..i want to see her with me everytime..i want my family to accept her n they already did..but what m i suppose to say if they noe about this??everyones asking about her n im like always changing topic or get away...pls do tell me if there is anyway...

im sorry if i made you jealous..i know im not trying to understand you with my very best but than we really lack of communications..i understand why your unhappy when im out with my gfs..but then when you entertained other guys,i felt the same way too..its unfair but still im keeping silent since your not mine..i just want your fullest attention..never have i felt this way..those promises which i intend to hold on to n wont break it even if i want to..i really cant move on because of those promises..is there anyway where you can trust me??seriously..i just need my familyand you and no one else..its enough to make myself complete..is it possible to open up your heart for me??if it is possible then i'll make those promises come true..i'm sorry once again..forgive me..but i guess it's too late for everything..haix..

2009-10-20T23:46:00.002+08:00

this post is mainly for my bestie n someone...

dear bestie..pls forget about ur dream aite..i noe u dreamt dat i met into an accident but then it doesnt mean dat im really going to be in an accident right??
i noe u nearly lose me once before n u dont want to lose me again..
i noe u want me to ride my bike safely n im sure i will...try not to sad k because dreams don't have to appear in real life..
im not going to let myself get into an accident n make u worry about myself anymore..
i hate seeing u in tears..i noe ive seen u in tears many times before but den not in a situation like this..i cared about u n when i care about someone i dont expect them to cry infront of me if its my fault..
treat it as a normal dream k dear bestie..ill ride safely k..don't think too much of ur dream..i'll be fine..trust me..:)
cheerup dear bestie!!!

n to you...
everyday i see you in my dreams...
never for once i didnt think of you..
wondering why must it end like this,
when i myself don't know what mistake did i do.

im sorry if i irk you by entertaining other girls..
i really don't intend to flirt around with them..
honestly..you can ask my friends what type of guy i am after meeting you..
i changed because of you and i changed only because of you..
sometimes i wonder why must you think negatively about me
when all i wanted is trust from you.
i need an answer..is it love and care that makes you unhappy seeing me paying attention to others or something else??
whatever i gave you in the msg,is from the bottom of my heart and nothing else..
pls read it and understand me fully than you will know what type of guy i am..
i didn't come to your school that day just to see you crying infront of me but at the same time i've gathered up the anger in me to release it to the one that made you cry but somehow,i can't since you stopped me.
only you manage to hold me tight with your arms when my friends couldn't.
doesn't that makes you a special person to me??isn't it something what girl's want??to be protected??i'm trying to explain to you what i'm feeling inside and not just giving you empty hopes and words..i hope you understand..i pampered you and only you for a good reason..you know the answer well..i'm sure you do..think about it aite you..all i want is for us to understand each other..not hurting one another..
i'll be looking forward on the 24th of october..i really will do..

2009-10-19T20:26:00.002+08:00

i'm moving on..short and simple..:D
figure it out urself...

owh yar...i've changed phone n redyed my hair again..lol..somehow my hair is stubborn just like the owner...it's red in colour...:)
and owh yar...met liah after such a long time at sch today..lol!!:D
i'm still searching and paying close attention to the one that u said dat have a crush on me..haha..
i still wanna noe who sia...unfair sia u liah!!haha...

but hey..still,im not into relations yet..for now let me be with kr-baby...lol!!ill take care of her for the moment...hehe..anyway,i really really wana go out wif ain!!!pls pls pls!!!txt me when u already have a bike k!!kite kua same2..i noe ur's is gonna b kr too..but i don't mind u having kr...:)
i'm looking forward to the day where u already have a bike den nnt i ask my frens to tagged along k...nahh,don't worry,i don't bully girls...;)
remember about the promise u made me!!hhaahaa...

owh yar,basically people asked..."what's with the upgrading and racing zack??"
it's simple..i care not about my life..somehow i'm into racing now..i'll upgrade my kr-baby into something else..oh no no,not upgrade to 2A yet..i'll kip this one for now..i'll change my lifestyle..i'll change everything about myself..it's up to u whether u can accept me or not..if u do then ill be happy for u n if u don't den i guess u don't need me n i don't need u..simple??:)

n to u...thanks for calling me matrep...haha..wth...y do i look like a matrep when im not??sheeshh...but nvm...it's juz a joke anyway...pls do stay happy aite...i noe u can only rely on me after ur bf asked for a break..thanks for trusting in me like no one else...but for now,try not to be sad k..i noe its not easy but ill b der whenever u nid just like when i used to look after u when we both USED to be lil kids...haha..cheerup k!!

and lastly,i choose to change myself into something..whether it's good or bad,i'll let u decide what u want me to be..i'll just be on my own..choose wisely cause when it's done i won't be coming back xcept for the fact that ur on ur own...

2009-10-15T23:13:00.002+08:00

wooo tired...just got back from soccer...it's been a while since i've met my so called matrep frens..haha..but actually we'r definite not...huuhuu....

owh yar...about today...boo..i didn't have the chance to finally vent my anger at someone because she didn't let me do so..boo..went to ite simei...and yes saarrr...i just reached ite simei and their dm aimed his arrows at me...

dm : excuse me..pls come here for a moment..
me : yes??
dm : ur a very daring guy to just walk passby me without greeting me,not wearing ur landyard(it's the ez-link that students have to wear as a description of themself),with ur hair so long and coloured hair..u dare to walk passby me with that kind of attitude??
me : emm..what's a landyard??
dm : ur ezlink..our sch provide all of u with this thing to identify urself..
me : owh..i didnt know..im from ite central..
dm : owh..and ur sch is allowed to keep long hair??
me : emm nope??
dm : ill talk to ur dm in central about ur long coloured hair and about ur landyard...
me : sorry but i've gtg and meet my friend..sorry for not wearing the landyard thing...

lol..first time came to ite simei and there i go being screened by their dm...but the dm's nice..unlike in mine sch...sheeshhh...anyway,the purpose i went there is to find a guy who created problems with someone..owhh yar...i can remember that guy clearly..
and wow..i'm deeply ashamed with what he did..so yar,what if ur a guy??i only call people who find faults,admit and say sorry when they are wrong properly if they are at fault, brave...what kind of guy goes to a girl apologizing with his frens?sorry what??u called urself matrep??sheeshh..i despise guys who find faults and later call his frens for help..seriously..are u afraid ??as far as i can see,yes u r..

haiya..i really hate matrep..oh well maybe i do look like one but my standard is higher than ur..not only me..my frens too..ur not worth to be called a matrep at all dude..get a like k..
learn how to fight before being a gangster..don't find faults if ur not daring enuf..don't just talk but prove ur a gangster..if ur afraid of doing so den don't u ever dare to call urself a gangster cause apprantly u haven't taste of what's its like being one..suck balls dude..ur lucky enuf i was being stopped by her..sheeshh..

and yar..to akmal and hakim...
cheerup..people have to leave u went their time's up..i encountered the same thing too..it hurts me seeing u crying and i know how u feel..im there to help out but for now just let ur granma rest in peace k..bacekan yasin utk die bnyk2..im always there for u since we wer small..u noe u can count on me..i never fail to back u up if there are fights and everything and u noe that we never lose..like ive said..ill back u up..count on me for everything k..cheerup..find me when u need me...

owh yar..a girl friend of mine asked me what is my worse fear??apprantly only certain people know what my weakness truly is..i can never see people crying infront of me cause that is what makes me angry and it has always been my deepest fear ever since i was beaten up in primary 3 for accidentally spilled milo on someone shoes..it's not because im sad when i was beaten up by those primary 6 guys..but what makes me angry is the tears my mum shed for me when i was in the hospital..those tears which my mum tried to hide from me..until now,i chose to defend what is right..i don't bully people but if i did,it will only be because of the tears that i see from any of my close frens or gf(if i have) and family members..is kinda funny how my fears change to my strongest defense that i want to protect..:)
im happy with it...

and owh yar...u can call me matrep if u want to all ur life..i can say that i may look like one but hell,my standard and their's is far greater then them..i'll be waiting for the time when i can use this hands and legs to release my anger at someone..i'll wait patiently..:)
there's no point hanging out with matreps or join them if to get protection if they themselves can't protect their own..weaklings..suck balls..:)

Thunder..i just took this lyrics reminding of someone..hmm..

2009-10-12T01:35:00.001+08:00

Today is a winding road

It's taking me to places that I didn't want to go

Today in the blink of an eye

I'm holding on to something and I do not know why

I tried

I tried to read between the lines

I tried to look in your eyes

I want a simple explanation;

What Im feeling inside

I gotta find a way out

Maybe theres a way out

Your voice was the soundtrack of my summer

Do you know you're unlike any other?

You'll always be my thunder, and I said

Your eyes are the brightest of all the colors

I don't wanna ever love another

You'll always be my thunder

So bring on the rain

And bring on the thunder

Today is a winding road

Tell me where to start and tell me something I don't know

Today I'm on my own

I can't move a muscle and

I can't pick up the phone,

I don't know

And now I'm itching for the tall grass

And longing for the breeze

I need to step outside, just to see if I can breathe

I gotta find a way out

Maybe theres a way out

Your voice was the soundtrack of my summer

Do you know you're unlike any other?

You'll always be my thunder, and I said

Your eyes are the brightest of all the colors

I don't wanna ever love another

You'll always be my thunder

So bring on the rain

I'm walking on a tightrope

I'm wrapped up in vines

I think Ill make it out but you just gotta give me time

Strike me down with lightning

Let me feel you in my veins

I wanna let you know how much

I feel your pain

Today is a winding road

That's taking me to places that I didn't want to go

Your voice was the soundtrack of my summer

Do you know youre unlike any other?

You'll always be my thunder, and I said

Your eyes are the brightest of all the colors

I don't wanna ever love another

You'll always be my thunder

So bring on the rain

And bring on the thunder

Your voice was the soundtrack of my summer

Do you know you're unlike any other?

You'll always be my thunder

So bring on the rain

Oh baby bring on the pain

And listen to the thunder

i've got nothing to post about today..i just want to place this lyric in this blog..somehow this song reminds me of the time before my accident..there's a link actually..before getting into an accident..there was this thunder and lightning which suddenly appeared out of nowhere..hmm..and at the same time at hosp,someone came to take care of me skipping her work..thanks alot..i appreciate it..somehow this song reminds me of everything that have happened towards me..sorry for this post..i really got nothing to write..i'm just thinking blankly for now..rest well..goodnite..

2009-10-11T03:38:00.002+08:00

i forgot to upload this pic...haha..ill upload this only lah...can??haha..
SARANGHE DEAR CAT!!LOL!!

ok...ini lah kwn rapat ku dan kawan rapat nya...hee!!!
ok dah..itu je yg nak upload...haha...toodles!!

2009-10-11T00:13:00.003+08:00

skip bout the previous post...pls be happy k firhaz...im around like always...

anyway...lets talk about yest...yest went bowling with qila,rin,shada,arif and usop...eh cool..i won..lol!!was being lucky...:)
bowled for one game since theres little people around and movie cancelled due to SOMEONE have to get stuffs from his aunt's place..haha!!but its ok...den hang out at pasir ris,talked crap,laughed,played game and learn new stuffs..
and owh yar..raced with arif since he too have a green kr and he acted as if im gonna be left behind..haha..kerek!!haha..

maybe u have more experience den me but still im not ready to go deeper for racing..not now..im still recovering..ill c how ferst k if i wana join racing or not..im not sure..even if i join is not like as if anyone cared about me..ok honestly tell me..who would??sheesshhh...
from pasir ris,me n arif raced with another kr guy..haha..cool..make frens on the road...laugh like mad againnnn...lol!!

skipped about yest...talk about today...went to work den bugis buy some parts for my bike,met usop and shahrin...played pool and hangout...boohoo!!night riding cancelled...rabak uh korangs...haiya...tkpe tkpe next time bole..settle..
kla..datz all i wana say..im too tired to write anymore...
nite nite!!

lastly to someone : i'm beginning to hate u more than ever...thanks for not treating me well wen u say u would..thanks for backstabbing...

to u : thanks for making me smile even if it was for a short while..:)

2009-10-10T23:47:00.004+08:00

i'm beginning to hate u more than i like you...that's what i wrote in my pm on msn...
it's meant for someone..
to u...
seriously,pls don't be nice to me..why do u have to ditch ur guy bcoz of me??
he's a nice guy...he is someone whom you should remain with..what reason did u gave him when u asked for a breakup??he must have hurt alot...both of u r my frens but why r u doing dis??to me and him??give me a reason why??i really want to know..

bcoz of u..only bcoz of u ur guy fought with me for no reason n im lost for a period of time wen he said dat im backstabbing him..i didnt know any part of the story until he said he want to meet and talk to me..what did i do to u dat u ditch ur guy who is a part of my fren??ur really unfair..why must it be bcoz of u,his gf for 3years and him who is my fren for 7 years have to quarrel with each other?u r really unfair..im having a hard time here talking to him and there u r happily boasting that ur single..do u noe how he feels??do u understand what he is going thru??do u even pitied him??u used to love him as he is the only guy who waited for u for 2 years like a mad guy while u be with other guys??

i bet u have about 3 or 4 ex's in 1 year..don't act as if ur the prettiest of all..to me,ur still cheap..yes,i notice how u go around going to my frens saying or maybe boasting around saying dat ur preety..i dont mind u doing so..but i really do mind dat u hurt my fren..atleast have a heart..he waited for u for 2 years and u just ditch him like dat??i dont think u can ever get a guy like dat..i hope dat u wont..is it his fault for ong someting bad to u or its mine for being close to you since he trust me dat im ur good fren??i was wondering,we only got to know each other once and he said dat u told him im ur good fren??what stories did u make until he believes u??
i should hav known u..i told him b4 that i hated u during the ferst time i met u but he told me not to since he waited for u for 2 years and he was happy to finally get to be with u...

to tell the truth,im the first guy dat he pleaded to look at u..he wanted to show me how preety u r after such a long time he waited for u..and this fren of mine hav/had never shed a tear for a girl but only for u..pls lah.atleast have a heart for my fren..he proved to u dat he is willing enuf to wait for u for 2 years..isnt dat something u shud be happy about when u get a guy like him?datz y im angry whenever people say that all guys r the same..and now bcoz of u NURRIFAH,U JUST HAVE TO RUIN EVERYTHING..

ya..i bet ur famous...famous for being cheap...have a heart lah..pls..u r disgusting..seriously..ur lucky dat ur a gurl..ur lucky he told me dat he loved u alot and right now im talking to him just to make sure he is alright...thanks ehk..thanks for making my close fren cry and thanks for proving that im right and ur wrong..but still,im happy dat u proved to all my frens dat u r famous for being cheap..sheeshh...

sorry people..i dont want to compare others..i noe guys u would wana say.."nie arh pompan..blablabla"..and some gurls would say "nie ar jantan...blablabla"...
i really dont wana hear anything..im not anyone to say dat people are the same but somehow i just wonder..who is right when it comes to relation/guys and gurls??cant they just be happy??i wonder why..

2009-10-09T00:46:00.001+08:00

i'll blog tomorrow...now i wana slp...tata!!haha...

2009-10-07T00:34:00.002+08:00

weee...ehhh...sumpah aku malas nak tukar background...nanti nanti can??tkde mase uh...
eh bestie...can go ur house and help me to change background???pretty plsss??haha...
i noe u wont sbb u dah lawa kan...mane nak layan org cam i kan...sobx...boo...haha...

eh bestie...wana noe something...someone said to me(kenalan ite)..
: what happened to you??why r u being diff??whr is the zack that i used to noe dat loves to disturb girls???its boring to not see u in sch(damai sec) anymore...luckily im in the same sch as u but im dissappointed why you hav changed so much...r u attached and maybe datz why u stop being cheeky with girls??i miss the times u used to disturb my frens n me but seeing u silently like this is unlike u..
me : emm...do i have to ans all the qn??
: i just want u to noe dat i miss the old u...i want u to be cheeky...i want to see that smile...the smile dat used to make me n my frens happy...

ohh well...bestie..tell me what im suppose to do??im stuck in a corner u noe..frens prefer me to be this way n some people want me to be the way they want me to be...i hav no ans to their qn and even if i do...i wouldnt noe whr to start...

firstly...im tired of fooling around...seriously...im tired of going around knowing others and i just want to stick to one...im not thinking highly of myself but getting girls used to be easy in the past..i dont want it to be that way..all i want is to try hard to achieve the girl that i want and i only want to make "that one" girl fall for me and not attracting alot...its kind of funny whrby i used to get which ever girl that i want but i wana be diff..not like how i used to..
i noe most girls like to say that all guys r the same and im trying to prove that im not the same like those guys who ditched their girl for no reason n be with someone else...
the funny part is now,when im aiming for someone whom i wanted so much..it became too hard...
i still remembered how i used to prayed to god asking to not let me get the easy girls but the hard ones...i guess my prayers r being fulfilled but den i think god gave me someone who is too hard to get...haha!!

secondly..i cant help notice whenever im close to someone who is attach,they will surely break up...and the guy would blame it on me...
guys!!you should be trusting ur girl...not think badly about her...its irritating when im just being a fren to ur girls and u people just dont trust her when she said dat im just her fren..why must u guys think that way??im not the type that go for people's girl u noe...haix...
and until now,there's this guy still unhappy towards me bcoz he broke of with his girl..
dont blame me...im just working with her..she's my fren and my full timer..if ur unhappy about it,pls talk to me about it k..dont have to "ehk u..bawak kawan kawan u sume tron kite gadoh..suro si zack turon n i suro kawan kawan i seme datang pukol die"..

in the first place,just to settle things..u asked ur frens to come down n beat me up...as in me alone...pathetic...how about u just take 3 of ur frens including u n fight me alone..kite check sape menang..dats my limit dat i can fight wif..i can only take 3..im not fully healed yet..but still,i told her (full timer) that ill protect her since she's small...its unfair for bigger guys to bully her...whats the point of fighting when we can talk??am i right bestie??
i dont mind if u wana beat me up if i noe its my own fault but dont blame her...she's 3 times smaller than u and u wanted to beat her up??u used to love her like mad and now u want to beat her up??uuhhh...dat makes sense...

ill skip everything...im suppose to be myself..not being the old me..i wanted to throw everything away datz bad about me...i wana turn into a new leaf but no ones there to help out..i cant rely on my frens coz dorang seme setan mcm aku jgk...hahaha!!!i really need bestie n a new gf to help out...seriously...hmm..

owh yar ps i kept dreaming about you this few days lately...wonder why...hmm..but still i liked it...and bestie..ur becoming prettier n prettier...but ur still pretty to me even before i met u...hehe...remember?sitting in one corner alone and i came up and just pop up out of nowhere calling ur name in class n u smiled...hahha!!!i hope u do coz thats the first time i talked to u remember??haha...

owh yar...i almost forgot...24th october 2008..i wont forget this day..its going to be a year soon..do take care wherever you are...
kla..ill end here..ill be going out soon...ill blog again someday...
nite nite!!!saranghae dear caat...

2009-10-04T22:55:00.003+08:00

time to write something after quite a while...

i wont write about what happen a few days ago but maybe yessterday...haha...

ok...we went out...basically camwhored using my cam...shheesshhh...=_='

sampai habes dok korang uat maen cam aku...haha..tkpelah...bkn slalu lagi pon...

me,islam,hussein,ayim and bil rode our bikes while the rest as per usual, found at the back of a lorry with bad as the driver...haha...

AND BASICALLY THANKS TO MUHD BADRUL HISHAM, I NEARLY LOSE MY LEG!!!

LAEN KALI BAWAK LORRY SEBELOM REVERSE TGK MIRROR LULU LAH SIA!!!

GRR!!!BALAS ALEK NAMPAK BAD...kesian kau ngantok sampai tk perasan aku belakang lorry...naseb drg alert kau sia...tk aku dah tkde kaki siot...babz kau!!haha...

ill not upload much pictures but take only the ones dat i like k...

the rest u can find in facebook..haha

gua peh members dokkk!!haha..

and i went to this lil guys house to meet him,her and her mum n nenek...

i actually wana say something to her mum but her mum just wont get out of her room...

aku uat salah ke??ehhee...kiyut kan rieyza!!haha!!he did something to me!!lol!!haha..

ok datz all...search at facebook for the other pictures k...toodles!!!

2009-09-24T00:15:00.004+08:00

wooo....ok best...its raye and i didnt have the time to upload pics...blogger is getting bored..lesser frens using blogs..haha...maybe ill not be using blogger anymore....
sorry uhh tk dapat upload pics...malas uh...dun hav the time and im very lazy super duper to the maxx to upload pics...

ill try and find some free time to upload pics kae...set keper???
and owh yar...org time rayer nie,mintak lah maafkan pat each other...bukannyer gado ngan pekerje sendiri...supervisor supersior.....
y cant u just understand that we dislike u...hmm..

kalau nak bual burok psl org pon...bual lah depan depan...tkmolah ble org pat sini tkde pat singapore aru die nak bual burok...haiya...one day,ill burst out everything dat we dislike about u den u noe...

n yes to babyjuliet : sorry i wasted ur pp8 by calling u dat tyme...u didnt say to me dat ur using pp8..haha..ade duet tak nak top up??bile u dah bole start blogging alek i hope u read this post k...haha..im really2 sorie k...and u with ur "diam ah" and "hotak u" tak habes habes...
eh eh..ill be coming to ur house soon k...maybe next week wif another 2 of my frens??dorang aje lah yg i leh harapkan...yg laen msg pon tk iply....blurghh...

hidayah : ehhh...bestie...imy n ily liao!!!ill be coming to ur house next week taus...ill be coming wif shahrin and yusof...hehe...alah,u kenal drg lagi pon...heee...ill show u how sachok i am with the aju raye...huahua!!sachok habes...woot...and ill really iwana take pic wif u...pls pls???haha...

to minahrep : eh minah aka gemok...haha...u noe hu u are...ill be coming to ur house next week too tau wif org yg u kenal..dont worry..i wont take any duet raye...dah besar horrr...u gi collect duet rayer sane k...make sure lepas $300...hehe..and btw,sorry if im being mean in this post..u noe its just a joke...kalau tk suke kite leh bual face 2 face k...mau pa??u kan minahrep..me matrep..lol...u havent seen my hair properly havent u???haha..but i dun dye it lah..nie matrep dah insaf uh...actually bored nak dye rambot...like ive said...i prefer natural...lol...ill update u wen ill be coming kae...:)

and and...my makcik have been asking me bile nak KAHWIN...irritating sak!!!
both my brothers are getting married next year...seme dijempot k...habes kan aje lah makanan kalau nak...aku pon tk peduli...haha...
im hoping to ask bestie,bbyjuliet n minahrep for help..haha..still pending...and also some other frens but see how lulu kae...
mostly ill find bestie ferst...i dun wana neglect u...:D

owh yar...mum asked...wad type of gurl im looking for...she noes im single!!!huhu!!duhh...shes my mum..of course she noes...

the type of gurl dat im hoping for :
- long hair (can be curly,permed or whatever but i prefer straight)
- emm mum wants a gurl hu wears tudong (actually i think back i do want her to wear tudong so dat only me can look at her..fine!!im selfish but so what??)
- must be average (weight and height) :)
- i dont mind if shes poor or average but not rich...
- not the type dat nags much
- not the type dat likes to ask much
- caring and understanding
- she doesnt smoke (sheesha maybe can)
- piercing??emm...maybe at the ears only...hahhaa...lol..demanding sia...
- trusts me (i like it wen they get jealous easily but to an extend do trust me that ill not flirt wen i have her by my side...promise!!!:D)
- im not asking for freedom but dont control me too much...
- i dont mind her wanting anything from me but sometimes do understand dat i cant give everything dat she might want...i hope she really do..
- i dont really mind if she wants to go out wif other guys whom she refer to as frens but to a certain limit, ill show to her that i dislike by keeping silent all the way...hmm...

actually i dont expect anything much from this girl whom i want...i just want her to trust and believe in me...thats all that i need...:)
so far...mum have already seen bestie and another girl...haha..
nenek too have seen them...

and btw,ill get married when im 28 or 29 lerrrr...estimate aje...i dont want it to be now...lol!!
if that gurl thinks that i cant make her happy then ill just let her go...i wont force her to suffer by being wif me..i hope i can cope wif everything...insyallah..

and somehow,i missed granny..ya maybe infront of people i dont show my emotions but i think of her everytime...hmm...i dont wish to lose others...i noe everyone have to go but not now...im not ready to lose others as well...im happy wen everyones close to me...im really am...i want it to remain that way but i cant...the ans is already there but it can never be solved...hmm...
ill end here everyone...wana slp liao...ill pray for u granny...i will...goodnite and rest well....

2009-09-16T06:12:00.005+08:00

wafah chose to lay on my back...

something weird is going on yest about her..wonder why...hmm

i seriously like this pic..haha!!*secret*

uuhhh,muke kite sunggoh tidak perlu...

spot orang minyak tak??ehehe!!!

usopmas,zack,rainoh and wafah...

rain nampak mcm pakai topi kan2??hehe..

shahrin and usop unable to be there..go work and go home...

woo!!!eh korang!!thanks for today...aku tau tk seberape uh narie but still we manage to make it fun even though planned ade yg terpakse dicancel...

huhu!!!and thanks for the compliment...aku tau aku look better with long hair but then aku kene potong uh..sobx..:'(

anyway,today we ate at popeye(terminal 1)..the same location where i used to eat wif HER..bring back old memories..and blablabla..

after breaking fast,they thought of staying at t3 since amir have never been to t3 before..
kesian amir..but then they wanted to go karaoke..then off to bedok inter and the trip was fun..made lotz of noise(tau amek gamba uhh...grrr)

n btw,thanks to shahrin n usof for calling me matrep..ceepekk korang..aku bkn matrep lah sia...i may dress up as one but hell no im not...n thanks to a passerby who thought i was chinese..

girl : excusemeeee,can we get to know each other??

ehem ehem : ??

me : huh??

rain : wahhh...

usop : chey zack uhhh...

me : ape siak??

me : emm..im attached??

girl : its ok...we can just be friends...i like chinese guys...

usop,rain,ehem ehem,wafa,fiqa : ahahahhahahahahahahahaha!!!

(shits...boo..im blurr...whose the chinese guy??)

rain : take the chance uhhh!!!

me : im sorry but im malay..haha..

girl : owh..ur malay??i thought your chinese..haha..i must be blind..

haha..thanks for labelling me as a chinese guy..lol...

moving on..karaoke cancelled..thought of watching a movie but was cancelled too..

then off to bedok reservoir's platform..played a game there...a stupid game i say but fun..lol!!

chat,run around,take pictures and talk crap all the way till 11..

hang out wif shada at her house..talk to her mum,sister and dad..helped them with the kuih..kecohhh..malam malam uat kuih..stayed there till almost 1 talking to her and her parents..dah lame tk jumpe lah kate kan..haha..

den went home and out again and accompanied shahrin at his work place..fuuhhh...naseb kau baek aku ade rin..kalau tk,aku tk tau ape kau nk uat bile bored nanti..haha..accompanied him till 430 am horr..jiwe members..talk about ex's and the future..

for me and shahrn to noe only...owh yar..i wonder what's up with her yest??

why being extremely nice towards me??

hmm..haha..thanks for being kecoh tadi k..u don't have to shout when playing the game...

haha...

and to u shada : ya...im angry at u but not anymore..u really do know that i tried my best to come early but im not able to do so..i cant just leave shahrin n usop behind when all of u hav already gathered there..i rather stay n wait for them then let them go there without me..ive gone thru everything wif them and i wont be the one to leave them..i treasure the people i cared about..im sure u understand ryte shada??im really really sorry..i noe ur stressed and kept calling me to arrive early just because ur alone there..i cant make it but still i did my best to be there ryte??atleast i tried..im sorry 2 u and the others for being late..u noe u people are unhappy bout it but still we did manage to have fun together because of this outing right??haha..

ill b looking forward to meeting u people again..seriously..:)

and owh yar..i swear that i used to love that someone so much that i will beat anyone up if she ever cries infront of me..haha..but now we're frens and im happy for u since u hav a guy..:)

stay happy k...ill wish u well with that guy...dont worry about me..im into someone else..

someday,ill show that someone to every of my close frens k...trust me...:)

~sometimes i wonder..who will go first..*tilting the hourglass*~

Welcome To My Blog

2 : Various penalties for cyber crime

helloooo mr seah!!!im zack!!!:)

Internet addiction disorder

Contents

[edit] Possible disorder

[edit] Support

[edit] Opposition

[edit] Prevalence

[edit] Prevention and correction

maybe it's just me or couldn't you believe that everything i said and did, it wasn't deceiving..

about this girl.....

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Thunder..i just took this lyrics reminding of someone..hmm..